Categories: uncategorized
Date: 18 December 2006 09:37:02
The brother and I just went to the supermarket to buy some shampoo and conditioner and Nerds. I knew the mission was doomed when we came across an acquaintance barely halfway between the car and the edge of the carpark. Small talk was had and we parted ways at the store entry. Acquaintance #1 headed down into fresh produce while the brother and I aimed for the shampoo aisle. However! We were thwarted on our way past the Asian condiments aisle by two friends of the brother (Acquaintances #2 and #3). Another brief conversation, aborted by yours truly saying "ok then... anyway...". We picked up some shampoo and conditioner and NEARLY made it to the confectionery aisle when BAH! Who should arrive on the scene but a friend of mine from uni and his girlfriend (Acquaintances #4 and #5). Now #4 is always off in his own little world so I safely walked right past him without being sprung. Unfortunately, as is so often the case, the girlfriend was on the ball and spotted me. This put me in a dilemma. Did she see me, think that I had not seen them? Did she not see me and everything was ok? Or, the worst case scenario, did she see me deliberately not seeing them? And further, would she say something to him about this or would it be our little secret?? Gah! Clearly the only solution was for the brother and I to temporarily abandon our mission and stalk them in the ice cream aisle. We made our presence known eventually and all was well with the world. They headed off towards confectionery and we continued down ice cream. Only to come across #2 and #3 again. We alerted them to the presence of #s 4 and 5 (who I don't THINK they know... but clearly it's a rather small world) and they alerted us to #1 who was apparently also in confectionery. We parted company again - the brother and I heading towards milk and yoghurt and #2 + #3 moving towards garbage bags and light bulbs.
Now confectionery was the tricky part. See I suspected that all of the abovementioned acquaintances would ultimately end up in confectionery. From the safety of yoghurt and custard, I checked out the situation. Hmmm no sign of #2 or #3 or #1 but #5 but browsing at about the bagged chocolate point. The presence of #5 means that #4 will be not far away and POSSIBLY rapidly approaching. We sought refuge in desserts and toppings, biding our time till the iron was hot (you know, you have to strike while the iron is hot and all). After a minute discussing the finer points of instant puddings, I decided that another reconnaissance mission was in order. We made our way carefully back to the lookout point, and, under the guise of discussing the merits of chilled desserts, surreptitiously glanced down confectionery. Hmmm #5 was still there... and GAH!! Sprung by #4 who restarted conversation! Bah! He returned to #5. We examined apple crumble tubs. FINALLY the aisle was clear. Moving quickly, but not so as to arouse suspicion, we went in for the kill. I was oh so close!! Boxed chocolates! Nearly there! When BAM! The brother was intercepted! Oh no! Who on earth is that?! Phew, she just wanted to know what time it was.
One packet of Neon Nerds. Time for... the check outs.
Hmmm express lane was not in operation. #4 and #5 were in the first open check out. The second queue looked promising. Just one person waiting and he only seemed to have 2 bottles of sparkling apple juice. On closer inspection, #1 was in front of him, however a casual slowing of pace ensured that a further encounter was avoided. We dropped our items on the conveyor belt and relaxed. Hah! And were ambushed by #2 and #3!! We pointedly placed the dividing bar behind our shopping. And noted that all our purchases were pink and theirs clearly did NOT match.
While waiting for mr sparkles to finish paying, #6 and #7 walked in. Not together. Just at the same time. Then the brother spied #8 patrolling near bread and cakes.
I signed the credit card dealy and made my final statement on the matter.
"Let's get out of this freakshow!"