Categories: uncategorized
Date: 19 September 2007 11:53:40
We will start the series with a composite person. I call her the North Shore Mum.
So I live in a part of Sydney where many people have lots of $$, send all their children to private schools and have small yappy dogs. Usually in these families, the father is the breadwinner and the mother goes shopping/to the gym/to the hairdresser/to tennis/etc. And walks the small yappy dog. Usually at about 9:30am, after dropping little Tarquin off at school. Usual attire is "lounge suit". Make-up is flawless. No objects for the dog to retrieve are carried because a) that would mean carrying a gross tennis ball b) their dogs are too small to fetch a ball and c) these dogs have minimal training and are more interested in trying to maul large black puppies!
I have noticed that these women are extremely embarrassed by the more... "doggy" behaviour of their dogs. See, it is an unfortunate truth that even small dogs have digestive systems. True! And even small dogs are interested in the output of other dogs' digestive systems. Also small dogs are just as interested in sniffing the rears of other dogs. And they seem slightly more inclined than larger dogs to hump anything that moves. Or doesn't.
I don't particularly relish my dog leaving a steaming pile by the path, although I am glad she has the good sense not to do it in the middle of the path, and I don't particularly enjoy picking it up in a blue biodegradable bag. But it goes with the job. I have never been tempted to shriek "Oh! How embarrassing!! Isn't it disgusting what they do?!" at random passers by, when my dog is squatting by the wayside. However I have witnessed said shrieking TWICE this week. One woman was seriously fretting because her dog was lagging a bit behind due to it being busy sniffing at something she would find unsavoury. But then her dog was called Bronte... I think it was a beagle puppy. Or a beagle crossed with something small. Actually seemed like quite a nice dog.
Will that be me one day? I hope not. I couldn't walk along a fire-trail in heels. But then I couldn't walk along a perfectly flat floor in heels....