captain's log

Date: 13 August 2007 15:16:00

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IN THE PAST MONTH
(nb: some of these things, like numbers 1 and 9, have been learned before)

1. Either I put sunscreen on my bald patch or I look like a belisha beacon for the next month.

2. I am never going to try and matchmake anyone, ever again.

3. The species only survives at all because couples have NO IDEA how hard childrearing is, until they're up to their necks in it.

4. It is very important to arrange your friends so that they don't all leave Glasgow at once.

5. Spain is the sort of place that you just fallfor, in a moment. I just like saying Spain. Spain Spain Spain.

6. Picasso came as close to complete creativity as any man has or will. He was barely containable.

7. Some stereotypes, like the one about fiery redheads, are unexpectedly accurate.

8. Little girls love swimming pools.

9. Some people really are selfish. I mean, fundamentally selfish. I have somehow never managed to believe this before - but some people really truly don't understand about what's right and what's wrong. And it doesn't matter how much you try to tell yourself they'll learn - they really don't get it.

10. If you spend money on X, you won't have it to spend on Y. Your bank is likely to remember this one, no matter how casually you hand over your debit card.

11. Many tradespeople are liars. If you don't get a receipt up front, you won't get one at all.

12. Starbucks will do you a normal filter coffee if you ask for Fairtrade. Costa will make any coffee you want with Fairtrade beans, but you still have to ask. But AMD Coffee, i.e. the coffee stand by the bank machines in Queen Street Station, make all their coffee with Fairtrade beans, and have ditched KitKats too because they're by Nestle. So you should go there. GO! GO NOW! RUN!

13. It takes up to three times as long to get over a cold or a virus if you are unable to stop working. Because I have children, I am NEVER unable to stop working, hence the interesting illusion that I am always ill.