Categories: uncategorized
Tags: politics
Date: 14 March 2008 11:17:44
Dear blog, I am in a quandary. I will tell you about the quandary that I am in, and perhaps you will help me fix it. But I suspect you will not be able to, for it is no small thing, like the time I had to decide between smooth or crunchy peanut butter, and it was easy because in the end they did not have any peanut butter and I do not like it anyhow. But this new quandary of today is a worse quandary than that.
The quandary I am speaking of is whether to choose between a white lady or a black gentleman to be the President Of The United States Of America. I cannot tell you how many long hours I have spent weighing up the benefits of either of these fine people. For the white lady is of good family stock and looks to have a well-turned ankle, plus she could certainly give those fellows on Wall Street a good hard stare if they behaved discourteously! But on the other hand the black gentleman is in favour of Hope and Audacity, and also there has not been a black gentleman to be President Of The United States Of America before, except in the film Deep Impact.
There are some fellows in the media who have it that we should not vote for a white lady just because she is a lady, or vote for a black gentleman just because he is black. But I do not know what else to do for I have listened to them in debates and they both talk a lot of hogwash as far as I can see, neither of them wanted to get into the sticky wicket of how to stop our nation's youth from running riot on their Skate Boards, or whether or not aliens are abducting our poorer brethren and putting implants where the sun don't shine. These are the main issues of the day. Also what to do about the dry cleaners who say it is three garments for £5 but when you take them in they say that wool garments cost extra.
My wife says I am crazy upside the head when I watch the candidates on the television, and she hits me with a book. Also she says the Republicans will win because of the Great War against Islam, and we live in Scotland anyway and that is not part of The United States Of America. But I do not listen to her, I tell her she should go powder her nose. She says I do not understand women or black people and that I should go and take a running jump at myself, and then she locks me out of the house and says I cannot get back in until I am sober. But I am not the one who put the washing in the dryer for too long and besides you do not have to be sober to see that the future of the free world depends on whether we have a black gentleman or a white lady to be President Of The United States Of America, even if they both say exactly the same thing about everything, and mainly get snotty with each other on television.