THINGS

Categories: uncategorized

Tags: community, skynet

Date: 25 July 2008 22:17:35

THING ONE

possible reasons for me getting lots of silent phone calls

1. am being stalked by serial killer
2. am being stalked by random idiot
3. am being stalked by random idiot serial killer
4. am being dialled by robot selling computer (which makes breathing sounds)
5. am calling self from the future to warn of impending catastrophe, but repeatedly thinking better of it, proving I don't change much in the future
6. POLTERGEISTS
7. Skynet has become self-aware, but is markedly less evil than expected

THING TWO

Quite soon I am going to push Paul McCartney's face into a food mixer. The soonness of this event increases in direct proportion to the number of times the joker in the flat over the road plays "Mull Of Kintyre" much, much too loud. Earlier today Mr McCartney's face was out of danger entirely, because Billy Joel was instead singing "Uptown Girl" incredibly loudly out of the same window. At the time, Mr Joel's face was expected to receive the same treatment. However "Mull Of Kintyre" has since returned to the top spot.