Categories: uncategorized
Date: 07 July 2009 07:43:16
Last week I spent a day inducting and handing over to my maternity cover. She seems very good and efficient, has way more experience and training than me and I think that she will do a better job at my job than I do.
Also, when my line manager was talking about how the school works and how the job fits into that, she said that my role was largely as a 'general dogsbody'. I have long suspected that this was how I was thought of but it saddens me that is how she quite obviously thinks of me (and also worries me that she says that to the person taking on the role in September).
I have no motivation left. I am just a dogsbody. I also am going on maternity leave which makes me irrelevant (I'm not allowed to go on a training course, at no cost to the school, because I am about to go on mat leave. I could go to the head and challenge this but am just planning to keep my head down and get through the last few weeks with minimal disruption).
I have my performance management this week and one of my targets was for more training in various areas relating to my job. Every time I have found a course that I want to go on, my line manager has said that it is too expensive, not a very good course or pointless becasue I am about to go on leave. Hence I have had no training since starting this job 18months ago.
All of the above makes me want to stay hiding in bed in the mornings and not come back in a year when my leave ends. The problem is that I dont know what I want to do, what I can do.
On a more positive note, only 10 more get ups til the school holidays begin and I can stay hiding in my bed. Except, I expect that when I am not trying to avoid work anymore I will no longer feel the need to hide. I may get up and enjoy the world. Or maybe a few days of hiding anyway wouldn't do me any harm.