Categories: uncategorized
Date: 25 March 2011 10:07:38
I had a bit of a break down at work today. A thousand little things have been going on for years and today I broke. A staff member came to see me, I think she said, how are you? maybe she didn't, but I said, I've had it up to here today, and then I broke down sobbing. I guess I really had had it up to here.
I remember everything I said, and I said everything I wanted to, and I wasn't nasty, but then I had to get on with the job. She was really worried about me and made an appointment for me to see the acting boss. Good that it was the acting boss because I'd never say anything to the real boss, because I have the impression that he doesn't really care, or he's too busy to care, and he just repeats back to me what I've said. Of course, all my complaints are just little niggly symptoms and I feel ridiculous voicing them when I'm all calm. I don't think there's any real solution. I think they're all just symptoms of the feeling uncared for and alone. All I ever here is about what a great team we are, and this independent survey and that independent survey says we're all so great - I don't know if I even got the survey.
I've been asked to write an email. What am I going to say really?
I'm quite disillusioned, which is supposed to be a good thing, because it gets rid of the illusions, and focuses of reality.