Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 February 2005 13:28:47
Today my body was tingling. I wanted to lean up against people (well not people, just one person!) and feel skin on skin. I wanted to say, run your hands over this gorgeous body. I wanted someone else to enjoy my body. I wanted to feel attractive and needed. My mind drifted off to fantasy land - quite mundane fantasies, not the movie kind. I sighed a lot, and had trouble swallowing sometimes. Please someone tell me this is normal.
I couldn't work out why some of the lent blogs in my wiblinks over there on the left, hadn't moved off day 18 yet. I think I've checked them 4 times, but apparrently within a 24 hour period. On day 17 I thought I was doing great. On Day 18, I can't believe how much time there is to go.
I'm still not sure this is worth it. Is that Western consumerism talking when I say, "Is it worth it?"
I did actually speak to Jesus today, rather than just thinking about him, or reading about him. So maybe Jesus thinks it's worth it, to speak to me.
I did read the story of Jesus' crucifixion last night. I usually skip it, or avoid it, not even conciously most times. And I went through a prayer on the sacred space site. It was really good. I can't believe what a difference it makes to be praying in front of a computer screen. I didn't wander off, or skip to the next page. One exercise was to read a bible passage, and then turn and talk to Jesus about my feelings, sins, needs, hopes, whatever. I can't remember what I prayed about, but I remember Jesus nodding his head. That was reassuring.