Church

Date: 20 April 2005 09:04:06

I guess a bit like Maccabees I'm in a new place this year, although my new place is in church. It's lonely to feel a deep connection to people who are part of my spiritual family, and yet be outside of friendships and in jokes.
At church this Sunday we were asked to sing one song changing the word 'I' to 'we' and the word 'me' to 'us'. It makes an amazing difference to the meaning and feeling of the song, to know that God is bigger than me, that it doesn't matter how I feel, because all this God did for all of us. It was unifying. I sang all the rest of the songs that way too. Give it a try and let me know if you noticed any difference.

For communion we stand in a big circle, all those present in one circle. I looked around at all the baby boomers present, and was struck at how strange it appears when there is only one sector of society celebrating the Lord's supper. I had a brief passing thought that maybe this was a strange cult of 50-80 year olds. After church I became overwhelmed by the thought that there are next to no kids at this place. Is the church in it's presentation keeping kids and their parents out of church? Isn't there a better way to communicate God and the peace of knowing him to families, (by communicate I don't mean just words, services or presentations)? Are we stopping families from connecting to God? I had no intention of sharing all this, but 5 minutes after the service, I ended up in the corner telling it all to the minister, and crying my eyes out. I really don't cry at all, except where the things of God are concerned, and it seems especially where this church is concerned.

The minister says that it's the birthing pains of some new thing. It seems every time I speak to her I'm having birthing pains. I think it may be part of who I am, to be birthing new things, so I guess I should start recognising the contractions.

It was an exhausting weekend.

And when all your human energy is gone, look towards your Jesus and press on (Colin Buchanan)