Categories: uncategorized
Date: 24 April 2005 14:13:04
Today I went to church. Arghhhh! I tell you, every Saturday I can't wait to get there, every Sunday I leave the place depressed. Today I left cross at myself for telling the church secretary old wise lady person what to do. She said she didn't want to be structured by someone else. Fair enough too. It wasn't what I was trying to say. She apologised for not hearing me right, and I apologised for not saying it right. She was very stressed by her role as ministry co-ordinator, which she doesn't want to do, but is only doing it cos no one else wants to. I wanted to rescue her and make it all better, and take over from her, even though I don't want to do it. I told her I didn't think she should be doing it. How stupid. How rude and arrogant. When will I learn, don't tell people what to do. We had already made an appointment to see each other prior to our discussion, so I hope she's not regretting that, or stressed out at the thought of talking to me for an hour. AND the minister had just said to our guest speaker, "we don't like to be told what to do here, we like to be given options, 'you may like to try this, or you may like to try that.'"
Whatever I'm told to do, I want to do the opposite. I don't like people telling me what changes will be made at my community if I haven't been a part of the decision making process. I think everything is dumb unless I have an input.
Why am I getting involved in church stuff? I don't like programs. I don't think kids should be shoved off to Sunday school, however much they like it, and even if every other evangelical church in the Western world does it. I think they're wrong. (Don't tell people over 30 you don't know very well you think they're wrong. They don't cope very well.) I think the church should change. I think church services should change. Why can't kids be included? Why can't artists be included? Why can't line dancers be included? Why can only people who like sitting still for 2 hours be included. There's no where for me to pace up and down at my new church. There's no where to look out. Why aren't I perfect? Why don't I have all the answers? (You don't have to answer, I know lots of reasons why)
A girl at church today had an idea for a scultpure. She wants to make a vessel that is cracked all over, with a light inside, to shine out of the cracks. What an amazing picture.