God came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first.

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 17 August 2008 13:08:34

Dinner tonight, as has been the last three Sunday nights was chip sandwiches. Although tonight we had salad and avocado and dim sims too. ... Excuse me while I move away from the wood pile, a huge white tail spider just crawled out of it. ... there, now

Church was wonderful today, (or should I say wonderous;-) The singing was awful, but we all sang away together loudly, and kids ran around stomping but I had a sense of my sin, that I have really ignored God or rather ignored talking to him or spending any time with him, which strangely enough makes the worship so much more meaningful, and beautiful, God so much more Holy and ever present and near.

It's something I have noticed amongst Orthodox people, that this sense of their sin, that they say, "God came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the first," makes them ... happier, and more joyful, and less depressed about themselves, and less desperate for reassurance, and the need to know God loves them.

I remember once being so overcome with my sin I didn't take communion in case I died on the spot. Our priest paused, as if he was listening and trying to work out what to say, or whether to say it,. It's quite unusual for priests to break from the liturgy in the middle of it, although our bishop does it all the time, and said something along the lines of, "God forgives." I can't remember the words, just that God was speaking to me. And I confessed my sin and struggle on towards the prize.

I ran over a cat today too. It died. The other man who stopped to help was having a rant about the person who ran over it, until I said it was me. Then he was very nice, and said it wasn't my fault, and not to beat myself up, and that you can't put your own life in danger to avoid running over animals, and that's he'd be more upset if it was a possum.