Categories: uncategorized
Date: 06 February 2006 01:51:35
Spent some time listening to things go bump in the night, asking Jesus for help and at the same time wondering if Jesus is real.
Wondered how it is that I don't ask God what it is that I need to do all the time any more. The pentecostal me followed the advice, don't do anything unless God tells you to. That's crap advice. I was in constant turmoil all the time - Should I shop at Coles or Safeway?, Should I have pasta or chops for tea?, Should I wear the boots or the runners?, Should I turn left or right here?. Good 'ol Nicky Gumbel has a bit of a joke about asking God which shoes to put on - he thinks it's funny, but I didn't at the time. That's what I did.
There's something very calming about just doing what it is that I'm going to do, and following that inner feeling that I attribute to God's voice, when I have the inner feeling - still small voice if you will.
I wonder if I seem any different to people who know me.
I wonder if it has to do with the Orthodoxy thing. Maybe knowing the example of the saints, the few that I've read about, gives me more and more examples of how to follow God in everything in every day life.
It fits with this entry from the retreat I went on in August. Back then I thought God was saying to look to the saints because I'd come to the end of my own strength.