Categories: news-from-depressionland, the-joys-of-parenthood
Tags: depression, bipolar, friends, meltdowns, Dutch Blitz.
Date: 15 September 2009 15:04:23
I don't often quote myself, but about three posts ago I apparently wrote this: 'I don’t think I am going to go into another post-holiday depression'. What was that about pride and falls?
Basically I've been feeling totally horrible since the end of last week, partly triggered by a big upset with Genius Brat last Thursday. Also not helped by the fact that on Sunday at the church visitor drop-in with no visitors, I foolishly volunteered to play Dutch Blitz (it's a Mennonite thing) against possibly the fastest player in the Mennoverse. Everyone else was slamming down cards at the speed of light and I was sitting there staring at my cards and wondering what they were for... I dropped out after the first round and went and locked myself in the loo and howled. Later a friend found me on the stairs and listened to me for a long time - our church is good at that.
Have been mostly sleeping since that time, but did manage to send off some extracts of my published work yesterday to a lady who wants to publish them in a Christian writers' mag. This was actually my only really urgent task, so that counted as a good day.
Also managed to get out of hosting a dinner party for US friends on Thursday while The Grouch is having a church elders' meeting; instead someone else who wanted to see them too is hosting it. I really would like to start having friends round for dinner more, but this is not the right moment. And I have cancelled my sermon for Sunday - if no one else volunteers to do it, we will have a service without a sermon. It won't kill anyone.
I think I am on the upward curve now but still taking things very easy. I really do wish a psych would diagnose me as type 2 bipolar - it would explain the ups and downs so much better.