Help let me out of here...

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 05 August 2003 03:00:00

On the friday when they fitted the flash new door in our office building I decided to work late... or rather, I had trouble digging my way out from under the mountain of work on my desk and didn't mange to leave the office until about 6:30pm.

I walked down the five flights of stairs that wind their way around the non-functioning lift, and reached the front door.
'That's new', I thought, and tried pulling it as usual - no movement. I tried pushing it - still no movement. I then noticed the little knob below the handle, I twisted it one way and then the other, pushing and pulling both times - still no movement.
A took a deep breath and considered my options: I could find a heavy object and attempt to smash the glass in the door or, alternatively, I could see if anyone else was left in the building and see if they knew how to get out.

I decided on the latter and started climbing back up the stairs, fortunately after two flights I found the building caretaker who was doing his rounds prior to setting the security alarm.
'Do you know how to open the front door?' I asked, feeling like a complete fool... he responded with a simple 'twist the knob' comment.
'I've tried that'
'It should be simple. Did you turn if round completely?'
'Yes, both ways'
(sigh) 'I'll come down and open it for you'
So we both walked back down the stairs and I preceeded to watch while Mr Caretaker turned and pushed and turned and pulled and failed to open the door.
'Great, we're both stuck in here for the night', I thought, but I said nothing.

The impressive thing about caretakers is generally the size of their bunch of keys, and although this didn't help with the front door problem, it did mean that Mr Caretaker could create an excape route...
Back up the stairs, through the high-security Probation offices, along a metal lined corridoor, down a very smart flight of steps, to a rather thick door into which one of the keys fitted.
I breathed a sigh relief and stepped out into the sunshine to hurry home for my tea.

The next week I recieved an e-mail containing the vital infomation on how to get out of the building, should I ever work late again:
Exiting the building:
Turn the middle knob in a clockwise direction to open the door.
If this does not work turn the top & bottom knobs fully in a clockwise direction and then try the middle knob again.


Of course, more knobs, I should have thought of that!