Categories: uncategorized
Date: 22 August 2006 14:15:50
Yesterday I was almost in tears because of the UK postal service. Today the sun has come out and dried up all the rain (and incy wincy spider climbs the spout again?).
Mr Husband says our house is a black hole for parcels. He's lost at least 4 in the 4 years since we've been living in our current house. None have ever been found. We didn't hold out much hope when the ‘top secret craft activity' parcel failed to materialise at our house. So instead of hope I tried the other two secret weapons I have: a forceful German lodger and a very cute baby.
Step 1- How to loose a VIP (very important parcel):
Get it delivered while you're away on holiday by a postman who thinks he's living in the future (and the 18th was at the start of the week) and can't tell the time (yes, there definitely was someone in at 8:15am).
Step 2- Use Weapon Number One:
Let your efficient German lodger pick up the ‘we tired to deliver a parcel' note and trust her to start the chase without telling you. She should phone up the sorting office daily to ask if it has been returned to the depot and can be redelivered. She should get more and more forceful, demand to know what's happened and why they can't find it in the sorting office, get the name of a senior manager and get him to speak to the postman concerned, etc.
Step 3: Use Weapon Number Two:
Get back from holiday and make a trip to the sorting office in person accompanied by a small baby. Sit in the waiting room asking to speak to Mr Sucker (for that was the mangers name). Wait until ‘call me Dean' appears and get baby to act extra cute. Emphasise the ‘irreplaceable' and ‘hand-made gift' aspects of the lost item. Be nice and not at all angry. Then look like you're about to cry when he tells you the chance of it turning up now is minimal.
Step 4: Celebrate:
The next day your parcel will mysteriously appear at your door. Tell everyone to celebrate (and stop cursing the postal service!).
[p.s. Alice: I have a belated birthday present for you! :) ]