Categories: uncategorized
Date: 17 June 2006 08:30:31
Pants has been asking some major deep and meaningfuls on her Wiblog and they have really made me stop in my tracks.
The first major question she asks is "what is a Christian?"
I have to admit I can no longer answer that question. There was a time when I would have given the stock evangelical answer of "it is somebody who has recognised their sinfulness, asked God for forgiveness and welcomed Christ into their lives", but somehow that doesn't fit anymore. Besides being full of Christian jargon it seperates out the Trinity too much and makes God too individual and is just too exclusive for me to associate with God anymore.
The next possible definition I thought about was "those conciously seeking to live God out in their daily lives", but that could apply to many religions and so does not relate to what a Christian is anymore than what a Jew is.
Another possible is "Somebody who goes to church, believes in the bible and believes in God", but then I don't think you have to go to church to be a Christian or believe the bible, although it is useful if you connect with the underlying teachings.
It could just be somebody who has chosen to identify with the term Christian, but then that doesn't have any aspect of needing to connect with God and indeed I know many people who I would regard as living Christian lives who would consciously not want to identify with the term Christian because of all the negative stuff they attach to it.
There are a range of other possibilities I could go into, but I won't. What's wierd is even though I can no longer say what I think a Christian is I know I am one. I don't think that it just comes from the fact I exist in some kind of Christian sub-culture and so self-identify in that way, or that I have connected with the creator God,or I believe in a Trinitarian God, or that I choose to try and use the life of Jesus and other writings recorded in the bible as my central reference point in moral decision making & try to live out that basic lifestyle (although I fail badly), or that I believe in the death and ressurection of Jesus Christ (part of the Trinity) as significant fact, yet all of these feed in, somewhere.
My thinking has also taken me to a stage where I don't believe that you become a Christian but rather you discover you already are one.
Having sat and realised this is where I am is scary. I am at a point where I have worked out that whilst my own beliefs may be a million miles from standard evangelical teaching Baptist churches are still home. I may be a Christian and quite happy to worship with people from any denomination (although I must admit I do struggle with the more some of the more lively ones) but the local Baptist is still home. A couple of years ago, around the time this blog started I was at a point when I needed to take time out, but today I am more desperate than ever to stay and belong. That said the more I realise where I am in terms of my beliefs and doubts and where the church is in terms of beliefs and certainties the harder it gets.