Categories: uncategorized
Date: 09 April 2007 21:33:05
Over at the Skinny fair trade Latte there is one of the saddest blog posts I have read. The writer is reflecting on both the role of Judas in the Easter story and on someone from her congregation whose sexuality has led him to feel they are in an either / or position.
I find the whole thing quite sad, partly because I also sympathise with Judas. I mean, did he really have a choice or was the whole thing predestined to make the bigger story work and he was just a supporting actor with a role to play?
In terms of the other bit of her post it is a sad story, but one which I think is worth picking up on because it outlines what, I believe, is the contradiction within modern Baptist life and an experience which I believe is, unfortunately, none too unique. Whilst not using the real life case she refers to let us for a moment imagine what it might be like for Baptists in his position.
Our starting point has to be "Joe Average" in the pew of a Baptist church. Now Joe average is likely to have heard a slightly shifting message over the years, generally moving from it is a total sin to homosexual orientation is not wrong, but homosexual activity is. As time and society has moved on Joe Average is likely to have become confuddled because society has moved on but he is trying to hold on to what he has been taught is "biblical truth".
Along side Joe Average in the pew is Fred Bloggs who is in the position of being like Joe Average in most ways, but Fred has for a long period been struggling to reconcile an increasing awareness of his non-hetero sexuality with the teaching (and his perception of the Christianity) that has built up over the past decade(s). Fred has tried really hard to be straight, even praying for God to take away his natural orientation and replace it with one which is more in keeping with the teaching he has heard. He has also then taken the path of persuading himself that being single forever is the best of a bad set of options.
Eventually Fred gets to the stage where his head is about to explode because he can't cope with this anymore. He knows God has made him who he is, with his full identity and did not intend him to be alone but he is also aware of the party line (or what he believes to be the party line) because he has heard it year in and year out, (and had it reinforced through events such as Spring Harvest). He also knows that he is not called to be celibate and so needs to start engaging with the gay community, but again due to the years of indoctronation knows this is not "right".
One senario (and the one that Skinny Fair Trade case refers to) is that Fred walks off and leaves God - truly believing that it is an either / or situation.
There are alternative routes Fred might take though. He may try to stick it out, realising that the attitudes of many people like Joe Average are changing and so maybe just maybe he might be accepted as he is if he finds a stable relationship.
However, this depends upon Joe Average as much as it does Fred; if Joe decides a line has to be drawn somewhere then Fred might well feel rejected and leave anyway or if Fred sticks it out there is always the danger of Joe feeling the church has become too liberal and leaving.
Another option is that Fred decides that he is going to stay, but trys to make Joes life easier by resigning membership, thus whilst not saying that he feels there is anything sinful about his orientation or exploration of it he understands and respects Joes feelings and so does not put him in a position where he would have to feel compromised. In this situation Fred has not run away, or just taken the easy option, because for Fred this has not been an easy option but he has taken what he believes to be the most loving option for the wider fellowship. He is still in communion with those around him, but has taken action which means nobody would have to make difficult decisions if he did find a partner. Fred being sensitive and wanting to retain dignity would do this as quietly as possible.
Of course there is also the option of silence and let's pretend because (i) what we don't acknowledge isn't really happening or if it is we don't have to deal with it or(ii) it isn't actually anybodies business. Silence is in its own way a valid option, and for many the only option but also in its own way lacking integrity.
But is it any wonder that poor Fred and at that Joe are confuddled and hurt and angry. Over the years they have been sold an interpretation that does not, cannot match their journeys. Homosexual activity is apparently a sin, but then when God was dishing out sexuality he made it a variant. Does that mean he intentionally designed some people to sin? I don't think so, rather He might just have designed people to, within the bounds of responsible behaviour, enjoy a range of sexualities according to which variant they were given. Fred wants to take the bible seriously but feels himself condemed, does this mean he has to ditch the book, well again I would argue no - he just needs to ditch some of the interpretations. What Fred probably doesn't fully appreciate is the range of sound Baptist thought on this one; some will condem, others will struggle to understand and others will simply love and accept, without becoming liberal or betraying their evangelical faith. Fred needs to remember his sexuality is only part of his identity and not the only defining feature.
(Putting on my announcer at the end of the programme voice: "If any reader has been impacted by tonights post and would like further help here are a selection of useful sites:
Evangelical Fellowship for Lesbian and Gay Christians
Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement
Courage
Reluctant Journey
Lesbians Exploring Faith Together)
As a final thought, this is a link to the Coming Out Prayer that LEFT have on their site.