Categories: uncategorized
Date: 29 August 2008 08:07:06
This should be my last post for a while. Within the next 24 hours the computer will have to be unplugged and packed, as well as everything else. On Sunday we start the journey north to arrive in the North East on Monday, after having got the flat back to a state that looks "professionally cleaned". It's not going well, there are still more odd bits to go into boxes or bags for the dump than I would like and I'm still not sorted on (i) decent cleaning equipment to do the carpets and curtains or (ii) some blokes to help my dad shift stuff. I am officially in a state of stress. (If anybody in real life living locally happens to be about this evening or tomorrow I really would appreciate your help).
As for when I'll blog next I really don't know. I am officially "a guest" of my college for the next month until my contract and uni officially start and so don't know what internet access I'll get sorted. If there is none I will have to find a cafe as I understand that some of my uni registration is done online, but I don't know. That infact sums it up I don't know.
I don't know what job I'll end up with and so at the moment don't know how I'll pay the bills from November. I don't know when we will have the appointment with the school and Third Party will start. I don't know if I'll get things sorted to get any of my deposit back here. I don't know more than a couple of acquaintences where I'm moving to and Third Party doesn't know anybody. I don't know (I merely believe) I have got it right about this being my "calling" and that I'm doing the right thing. I don't know exactly what the flat will be like. I don't know what will happen after I complete the research. I don't know if I will manage to get upgraded to the PhD at the end of the first year. I don't know if I am doing the best thing I could in life or making the biggest mistake with all this. I simply don't know.
I guess this is where faith comes into it because whilst I don't know I'm trusting God to lead me down the right paths. At the moment I think I am feeling more scared, yet strangely calm than I ever have. I made my decision and now I have to live with the consequences.
For anybody who happens to be new to this blog and doesn't know what the above was all about:
I am a lone parent, in her mid thirties who has been "led" by God, I believe, to go and research inclusion and good practice in broadly evangelical churches relating to single people, lone parents and those with a non-heterosexual sexuality. My starting point is that inclusive practice is likely to occur where churches which take a "household" rather than "family" approach. The main reasons I think the research is important are:
1) because with all the verbal arguments going on in the church it is easy to miss the fact the solution to many of these arguments can actually be found simply by looking at our practice. Often x, y, or z is being said but people are actually being loved in a way which doesn't compromise personal beliefs but does show a more compassionate response than the words
2) because I believe that often people involved in good practice don't identify it as good practice and share it with others because it's just normal to them and simply "what we do"
3) because I know the pain that some people in the groups I'm looking at have experienced as the result of bad practice, often based on lack of thought rather than any negative intent. If we can help people to recognise the effect of bad practice, through giving people in these groups a voice we might make the church an ickle better
4) most importantly if we are serious about concepts like "mission" and / or "revival" the church needs to be somewhere that is a positive place for people to come into. It needs to understand how it relates to the lives of those who increasingly don't fit the traditional 2.4 family model, aswell as those who do.
I'm passionate about the above, partly as a result of my own experience but also through listening to others and realising how blessed I have been in comparison to their stories. I haven't managed to get any official funding and so am totally self-financing. I have been given three large donations which have covered my first year and a bits worth of fees and have been pledged some monthly donations which will most of the rest of my second year fees. Beyond this..... I am living on faith, my maitenance payments from ex husband, family tax credit and child benefit payments . I do fully intend getting a part time job of about 16 hours a week and have registered with some lecturing agencies aswell as sending my CV around, but have had no luck as yet. Therefore, my priority when I get to new place will to be to get something even if it's working in Tesco. If anybody does fancy / is able (I know most of you are living on a shoe string with your money already committed to other stuff - so please don't feel bad you can't) to help finance this adventure please get in touch. However, more much more than that if you are able please pray for me and Third Party as I embark on this.
Anyway I need to go and get on with living the adventure. Watch this space for how it unfolds.