Theadora - Stella Duffy

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 22 February 2012 14:26:51

Theadora:Actress, Empress, Whore by Stella Duffy beat the interim report on Fruitful Fields and Michael Gove's further statement of New Right intent, (which the Indy sum up here),  for the subject of the blog today. What follows is not so much of a review as a reflection; one which I hope will somehow be appropriate for the beginning of Lent. I first came across this book at Greenbelt, which as my post from the time admits, was as the result of a desire to do little more than kill time. That hour lodged the book in my mind as something I wouldn't mind reading sometime; after finding the book in the local library the other week this turned out to be the time. I was suprised to find that despite my general dislike of historical fiction that this was spell binding and I couldn't put it down, (to the extent - almost unheard of- that I actually moved away from my desk at lunchtime one day so I could read a bit more). The book in its telling of the story tells one womans story that is historical in context but very contemporary in the telling. It gives enough detail, but does what a good book should and does not detail what exactly happens in the bedroom - rather allowing the reader to elaborate or skip briskly on as their own imagination and sensibilities may require. It draws you in from the beginning, making you feel sympathy for the character and gives a constant longing to know what is going to happen next. That is what the book gave me as a reader....however, this book from a non-Christian - (the talk at Greenbelt revealed this) - gave me much more; a spiritual experience which I needed right now. To explain for anybody who happens to be new to this blog, (I don't know if anybody who somehow caught this in yesterdays spike will return), I am currently going through the candidating process for the Methodist Diaconal Order. Both the Methodist Church and myself are testing my call to this form of ministry and as the process has continued what has grown is a kind of question mark about it all - there seems to be a sense I am called to minister "on the margins" somehow and have the basic skills set, but whether being a representative figure for the church would be right either for me or for them. There has been a question mark in my own mind whether God is actually calling me into something where I would have to in some way destroy or at least very much repress part of my character; (and no this isn't talking about sexual orientation). Within the book Theadora has a religious experience which is in part facilitated by being sent to live with Christian mystics in the desert for a year and within this to take 40 days of solitude, but which actually goes beyond this part of the book. Theadora reasserts at various points she has not had a single conversion experience, rather hers is a story of gradual transformation and growing understanding over time. There were moments when God revealed stuff to her but these are actually part of a much longer journey. One part of the book involves a narrative about her being sent by the Patriarch in Alexandria to do a particular job. Within this part of the book she questions what is going on; thinking that she has renounced her old ways and so she will surely not be called to serve using them. She has it pointed out to her that conversion, penitance and service do not involve God removing all that she was and is; rather active service for God involves the use of who she is and the skills and talents she has in a positive way. What shone through this book is that God can and does change people in order for them to be used in his service but it is through growing and developing them rather than destroying them. At the end of the book I was left with a sense of peace about the whole candidating thing I have not felt thus far. Alongside this through conversation, prayer and again reading this I have a clearer sense that it is ok for the question mark to be there. I am clear that this testing of call which could potetentially lead me into ordained ministry is a two way thing and my concerns are actually healthy - the whole voccation thing is a process. In the next month I will have either a clear no, or a bigger yes (ie if I get a yes it will be that I have been accepted to go into training). Which ever it is I feel I am more ready and comfortable as a result of reading this book. That may seem strange as I have never been an actress or whore and I am obviously not on a road which could lead me to being an empress, but despite these differences there really was something in the story of Theadora which God used to speak to me - something which I have sought to articulate here but can't really explain.  I feel I better as a cautionary note to anybody thinking of picking it up, (because I am sure somebody who reads this must be a "nice" Christian), the language is that of the street not of the pew most of the time (i.e. you will find the F word from time to time) and for obvious reasons there is quite frequent reference to sex. That said I think this book is a clear example of why when contextually appropriate swearing and sex are necessary and on very odd occassions actually add to a books readability rather than detracting from it.