For the Person Who Searched

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 27 September 2011 18:08:10

Today somebody found this site by putting "young adult sermons that encourage the lonely, mother, single parent" into the search bar. If you return this post is for you.

I'm not sure what post(s) you would have found, but I hope that you would have found yourself pointed to Genesis 21:8 - 21 which is the story of a single mum called Hagar and her son Ishmael. It's a complicated story because Abraham and Sarah don't come out of it too wonderfully, and Paul in Galatians 4: 21 - 5:1 claims the whole story is an allegory about two covernants and that Sarah is actually wonderful whilst Hagar represents something negative. The church hasn't always, because of these things, treated the Genesis passage or Hagar and Ishmael too wonderfully, I want to reclaim it especially for the single parents who society hasn't always treated too wonderfully either.

In the Genesis reading Hagar is the slave who has been chosen by Sarah to provide her husband with a child. For Hagar to have been given this "honour'' she must have had alot going for her. Very likely she would have combined being attractive, hard working and intelligent. However, she is still a slave and when Sarah herself gives birth and gets jealous, wanting to make sure her own son Issac gets all the inheritance and doesn't have to share it with his half brother Hagar gets kicked out. In this situation Hagar is kicked out of her home with her son, only being able to take what they can carry.

There comes a point, bearing in mind there is no welfare available, when the food and water run out. Hagar is left alone and scared in the middle of the desert in a state of dispair. She is convinced that her son is going to die and so she lays him down and goes off some distance, unable to bear what is about to happen. She must have had a heck of alot of "what if's" going through her mind at this point. Here, she reaches breaking point and just sits, lifting her voice into what must have been screams and wails and weeps.

Her son, who must have been scared also starts to cry one guesses because an angel suddenly appears to Hagar saying God has heard the boy. This angel meets Hagar in her point of absolute dispair and total lonliness and asks her what's wrong. The angel tells her to get up and take the boys hand, and then when she opens her eyes she sees a well. In having the angel meet her at that point of lonliness and provide for her practical need her life changes and so does her son. He becomes expert with a bow and arrow, a skill she taught him? Or a skill she found somebody to teach him. She must also of made a success of herself because she goes back to Egypt where she came from and gets a wife for him. This would have required some kind of dowary and she would have been the one to provide it.

So what's that got to tell us today?

Well, first off however alone you might feel and however hard it might be to believe because of practical problems God is there and is ready to meet you.

Secondly, God sent an angel to help Hagar,  today God sends angels too, but I think these angels are often ordianary human beings who are sometimes people in the church. Just as God made sure Hagar had her needs met at the point of most desperation and so she could go on to grow into a confident, self-supporting woman using the variety of skills she had so he can use people today to do the same thing. If we are ready to let down our barriers and let people help us there are people ready to help us see what resources are available to us.

Thirdly, however lonely and desperate Hagar felt at the point she laid Ishmael down to die she overcame it. Whilst the angel helped alot of the change came from Hagar herself.

I would go on further but I want to one day write a book on this stuff and so I guess I shouldn't be putting too much on here - but dear person who put this search term in I want to help you. I have been where you are and so finally I will give you some practical advice too.

Firstly, even if you are stuck at home with kids you have access to a computer - join a group like the Ship of Fools or some other internet group. Doing this enables you to build up community with others.

Secondly, find somebody at church you can trust to chat through what it's like for you and see if there is someway you can still be part of a young adults small group or a more mixed age small group which feels comfortable. Similarly if there is a single parents group locally that is something which could be useful. Getting in touch with a group like Care for the Family can help you find a local group if you want to join one.

Thirdly, if you are stuck at home see if you can get somebody you trust to look after your child one day or evening a week and so you can get out somewhere to develop a new hobby or do a new course. Often this will help you (i) meet new people, (ii) feel you are achieving something and (iii) build up new skills for your CV and getting back into work if you are not currently working because your children are young.

If you are part of a congregation which just isn't getting you being a single mum or finds the reason for your being a single mum difficult see if you can find somebody you know to go out trying different nearby churches with. It might be you can try it out first through a mums and toddlers group or something.

Anyway hope that helps if you do come back.