Categories: uncategorized
Date: 29 July 2007 08:14:32
It is fitting that as the 80's moved into the 90's Appetite for Destruction was a key part of the soundtrack. Whilst the plan seemed to be going well, with a job I enjoyed and seemed reasonably suited to in insurance, an engagement and marriage, flat and mortgage (but note no co-habitation) and a return to study through evening classes at the local college there was to be no happy ending. For various reasons I had pressed the self-destruct button. At what point I pressed self-destruct is difficult to say because eating disorders develop over time and you don't tend to mark in the diary exactly when you start engaging in other forms of self-destruction. However, at some point I did and the results were not pretty; a decade and a half on some of the scars are still there, although they act now only as a reminder of the journey I've taken.
In the mist of this though there were some things I did right and other lessons to be learnt from what I did wrong:
1. If you are returning to study after things going wrong start with something you know you're likely to find relatively easy and enjoy in order to regain your confidence. I took GCSE Business Studies, at evening class, in the academic year after dropping out to improve on my original grade. Doing ok in that then gave me the confidence to do A Level History as my night class the next year.
2. Don't get over confident and take on too much. The third year I took A Level Religious Studies and A Level English Literature together at evening class. Trying to do two subjects in one year, whilst working full time and being newly married, was probably a bit over ambitious. My advice is if you are working full time try to take one subject at a time to enable yourself to do the best you can in that one subject.
3. If you are buying property find out about the area first. We just saw an affordable property which looked nice inside and was in easy walking distance of the station and the town. As property prices started to fall the effect of living in an interesting area started to show significantly.
4. If you are about to make a decision you know is wrong, stop; talk to somebody and then have the courage to walk away if you need to. The temporary embarrassment and cost of cancelling something is far better than the cost of living with that mistake.
5. What is right and what is wrong is often more complex than you learn in church and when you talk to people as individuals they often acknowledge that complexity more readily than they do corporately. Therefore, don't make bad decisions because of teaching which contains good principles but can be tragic in its consequences if too strictly applied.
6. If you are engaging in activities such as weighing yourself every day, and telling yourself that reaching a particular single figure weight makes you completely overweight and so changing your eating pattens to stop that weight being reached, together with engaging in large amounts of exercise you probably have a problem and should go and speak to your G.P.
7. Knives are meant to be used on food, not people, (unless of course you're a surgeon). Again if you are using them for any other purpose go and speak to your GP, sooner rather than later. Find a friend you trust and ask them to go with you if you like because whilst this type of activity may, momentarily, make you feel better it is not healthy and leads to you being unable to ever get an even tan again. Also whilst you may think it's something you can't help doing you can. It's like giving up smoking or any other habit a little will power goes a long way even though it feels impossible when you start.
8. If you have a friend you are worried about then speak to them not just their significant other or whoever, unless it is specifically to support that other person. The significant other is already aware they have a problem on their hands and will be doing their best to deal with that problem, and may in some cases (but certainly not all) be part of the problem not the solution. Also when the recovering person discovers that concerns have been raised for some time, but never to them they get an ickle bit naffed off. The best thing you can do is get the person to see a GP and support them through their treatment.