Categories: uncategorized
Date: 18 February 2011 11:11:38
Don't you just hate it when you pick up the bible and it tells you just what you know you need to hear but are desperately shying away from? I do, but today God did just that. To put it in context I need to go back a day:
Yesterday Exodus 21:1 - 22:31 God starts giving Moses rules for the people. As your read through these rules it is interesting (i) how relevant some of them still are and (ii) how reading through you can see the purpose was to promote safety and protection.
This passage talks through different senarios relating to servants, women who have been "selected" for marriage, those who intentionally or accidently commit violence and so on. I was particularly struck about how in a culture that didn't value women as highly as men how the laws given, if followed, are specifically intended to stop abuse. Additionally "aliens", "widows" and "orphans" get specific protection. So whilst the culture and application may have changed the principles remain.
Moving on to yesterday's NT reading from Mark 2:18 - 3:30 it shows how Jesus broke rules sometimes on occassion for a good reason. He was living in a society where the rules intended to provide protection were instead resulting in oppression and so he kind of reclaimed them in a remixed form.
Recently I explored the concept of DJ as a metaphor for Jesus for an assignment. Within it I picked up on this point, (remembering the modern DJ is an artist who takes existing tracks and remixes them to have an impact on "the crowd" not the Smashey and Nicey sort of DJ). Jesus was effectively taking the law in the same way as the DJ takes an existing track and remixing it into a new sound....rather than simply seeking to get rid of the original.
Proverbs 5:1-14 gave an interesting view on adultery showing both women and men are to blame.
So that's the context I read todays readings in.
Exodus 23:1 - 24:18 continued with the laws and gave some more interesting bits which remain important. The themes of these were about not spreading false reports, perverting justice, automatically siding with the crowd or automatically favouring the poor in a law suit and celebrating festivals aswell as repeating the instruction not to oppress aliens.
Within it was the stuff about giving the land a break and giving ourselves a break to rest. This I am finding difficult at the moment. I can get the idea of resting for atleast a day from one activity but not the idea of not just replacing it with something from another area of my life which needs to get done. Yet, because of the contextual stuff I know that this rule was given in order to allow us to protect ourselves and remain healthy. I am back in the usual place of this time of year, knowing I need to slow down but not being clear how. Half term has in the past been a time when I have taken time off to crash, this year that's not possible as I need to concentrate on the research work and get Faith and Worship stuff done, aswell as sorting out some stuff to do with Maze.....Yet, I know what happens if I don't allow myself time and why God puts in these type of rules....
Then it was onto the NT and Mark 3:31 - 4:29 this was not easy reading either because it touched on something deep within me that only emerged at the weekend when during a conversation with TOH I ended up being a bit more truthful with myself aswell as her than I had ever intended.
The passage talks about family and how it's not blood - the bible says other believers are our family. Now in terms of "church families" this can work in different ways and as I have explained in the past because of the type of church it is my current church is very much less "family" than HBBC where I was before.
Now at this point don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm not cared for I am and I have grown here soooo much. It's just...well for a start they are a mainstream non-Evangelical church which don't have weekly or fortnightly housegroups to be a part of. This means they don't have that level of regular contact many churches do. Also they have a "pastoral visitor" system of pastoral care which I think only works for some of the church. Certainly it is not a system which works for me, largely because I am not in any kind of group (and so regular contact) with my pastoral visitor. Also you have to actually take the initiative and ask for help. Thus, I feel that I have few places and certainly no "suitable" places to turn to for pastoral care in the church without disturbing people I don't want to disturb unless it's a real emergancy because I know how busy they are. There is no real sense that I am in regular connection with people who would be willing to intervene in a wrap around way if required, as opposed to intervene in a well meaning give me a gob full way - which is quite different.
This contrasts to my previous church experience where "my family" knew what I was like and various members kept an eye open. They had various ways of being family as required.Either they forceably sat me down with a cup of tea or glass of wine and made me "spill". Or they went behind my back to sort my life out and then were ready to deal with my ungracious pride when it got in the way of me recognising why and saying thank you immeadiately.Their final method was they told me what I was going to do - giving me little choice in the matter. I think it helped in some ways within this that I was within both a housegroup with "smiley people" and a very small accountability group, (which I don't think "officially" existed and certainly had very strict rules of confidentiality for the benefit of all involved). I also had good friends on the edge of church but also somehow very involved who would give me a good telling when I needed. These regular groups or meeting up with friends meant I had spaces to go and "share" with my family where I had to be ready to be honest, certainly in the accountability group and friendship conversations. I miss this so much.
On this level I feel that my old church was and is "home" in a way my current one can never be. Yet, I know I can never "go home". The spaces and opportunities God has called me into are possible because I have moved out of the evangelical bubble and into the mainstream. I know as an "out lesbian in a faithful, loving relationship" I could not, would not be accepted to preach, etc within these churches. Equally I doubt I would have been given the support I have been in getting MAZE set up and certainly a group like this would not have been spoken about in the way I have been able to at the church I'm in.
Thus, I feel like I am an "alien" who has been given refuge and the right to remain within the Methodist Church. Therefore, I am now a mainstream Methodist citizen and I am happy with that. Yet, whilst I can make some visits back to the culture I come from, either to do fieldwork or meet with others who are still there who are friends I can never go back "home" to live and that makes me sad. This becomes relevant in relation to the previous discussion because I know through my research and through my life experience that "mainstreamers" somehow don't do "family" quite like evangelicals. It is because of the basis different ethoses the churches are built upon.
Sorry, if you're still here if that was too much of a splurge but it is something that I am getting my head around at the moment and I needed to use the blog to process - particularly as it really fitted in with the readings.
Psalm 22:22 -31 was one of those good bits which talked about praise and pointed out how both rich and poor praise God.