Depression, Do-Gooders, Divorce and Kids

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 27 January 2011 10:42:35

This morning I sat down and read the readings from Job 4:1 - 7:21 and Matt 19:1-5 and I was struck by their contemporary relevance to our generation(s).

Starting with Job. Today we find him having a talking to by one of his friends. It's one of those talking to's which goes along the lines of enouragement, (oh you helped us in the past when....), followed by the trust in God and it will be all right in the end mixed with a bit of well if God is allowing this is there something you've done? Now, any of us who have been in churches long enough will be familiar with getting this type of talk. It is normally "lovely well meaning busy bodies" who give it. They actually do mean to be helpful but just end up making you feel even worse and you want to just tell them to f*** off and leave you alone because they haven't got a clue but actually you just tend to weakly smile at them and say thanks and then cry/ phone a more understanding friend and let out how you feel about x "smiley" Christian who's just "had a go in love".

Well Job doesn't weakly smile he tells them, in this story, what many of us would like to...just eloquently in language appropriate for Christians to use. In 6v 21 he tells them that they're no help because of their fear of his condition. He then goes onto a rant in v25 which says, "How painful are honest words! But what do your arguments prove? Do you mean to correct what I say and treat the words of a dispairing man as wind? You would even cast lots for the fatherless and barter away your friend". By 7:11 he is onto telling them that no he won't be quiet and stop moaning about his situation. He says, "Therefore, I will not keep silent: I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit; I will compain in the bitterness of my soul. " Finally he makes clear he doesn't appreciate his friends basically acting as guards against him saying/ doing anything inappropriate and he just wants to be left alone rather than being treated as a burden.

As I say reading through it just had such a contemporary feel, particularly about the way "smiley Christians" - (you know the sort I mean, the do-gooders who smile whilst they'll put the knife in the back) - treat those with depression sometimes.

Then it was into Matt 19:1 -15. This passage starts off with the religious elite beginning to debate with Jesus about divorce, not because they care about the issue but because they want to trap Jesus. I would say that this issue is one that 30 years ago people were probably doing the same on in this country and is an approach some people are taking in contemporary debates on sexual orientation. By this I mean some people bring up the questions and try to find out what people have to say on the issue not because they care but because they are simply trying to put people in difficult positions and stir it.

To explain this let us take the recent prosecution of two good Christian people on a charge of breaking equality law. This case should, in my view, never have happened. The gay rights, rainbow flag waving rights lobby took it, I think, to challenge and provoke the Christian community. Similarly many of those religious people who ask people for their views on the issue, I think, don't care about those involved in this discussion rather they are using it also as a test of orthodoxy. Thus everybody actually involved becomes disregarded as people try to trick others into saying things which they can then use against them. Meanwhile elements of the church/ some Christians continue to discriminate against LGBT people and some LGBT people continue to discriminate against Christian people. The positions get further polarised in the media and so forth and those of us working for an affirming Church and a LGBT community which gives Christians due respect get further shafted from both positions.

I think it is time for those of us who may be seen as having fence poles sticking where the sun don't shine to get back to explaining the issues involved for those of us who care and are Christian and/or gay and why certain attitudes and laws exist and also speak about other aspects of the debate which don't get acknowledged. In terms of this whole thing I think that Christian guesthouses should be able to register with some kind of organisation, via their churches, to get an exemption from the sexual orientation clause of the equality act on the basis of genuine, proven belief. The gay community should except the human rights and deeply held beliefs and not seek to stay in these places. Equally though I think that those religious elite who seek to check "orthodoxy of Christian belief" should actually discuss with the gay community and particularly Christian LGBTQ people the interpretations of scripture and experiences of God we have. I believe that if there was real engagement then accomodation could take place more on the principal that the ultimate rule of God is based on love.

Um, anyway detour..back to Matthew...in this passage which explains that God gave Moses divorce law not because he wants divorce but he  believes in protection, particularly of women Jesus is giving some uncomfortable truths. The religious elite reply by saying, should we all be single then. Jesus says no but underlines the calling some, particularly marginailsed and hidden groups including some disabled people do have to be single.

Then after this he goes on to bless children and show the worth of this group. Thus, giving us a model of how we should treat young people and children - with acknowledgement and respect.

By the time I got to Psalm 17:1-5 I was quite relieved to get to a "nice" Psalm saying basically, "please listen God because I follow you".

This has been a heavy but strangely inspiring mornings reading of the word....and as I say yet again both OT and NT have been shown to have a huge relevance to contemporary dysfunctional life. Depression, divorce and seeing young people as a problem are nothing new or anything to be used by religious elites to try and trick people into saying things which can result in the knife/ boot being put in. Um, if I sound like this has sent me off on one it's because it has not because of my individual experience as such (although as a divorcee who's suffered from depression and has a young person I think I can relate to these readings a bit). Rather I am recognising that there is a battle going on for authentic experience of the middle ground to have a voice in the mist of an increasing controlling/ soundbite centred mentality.

Also through this bible reading project I am realising that I have been given a sanctioned education of the scriptures which has largely kept me away from readings like todays OT one which might have helped me in the past to see the bible has something useful to say on the real issues I have faced.