Categories: uncategorized
Date: 23 September 2007 11:00:00
As I was growing up my dad's view on me and religion was "well it's safer than heroin". These days, as a mum, I understand an ickle more what he was on about and why the statement is only marginally true.
I care about Third Party, I don't want her to make bad decisions that mess up her life; rather I want her to make choices which are positive and life enhancing. Therefore, I don't want her to take drugs, to have sex outside a long term relationship, drink too much or do any of the other usual things that parents worry about. I also don't want her to get sucked into the conservative evangelical hyperbole either though. The things I do want are for her to be healthy, enjoy life, make a positive contribution, have healthy friendships and relationships, do her best in everything she tries and find some kind of connection with God based on having come to her own conclusions on it. I also want her to appreciate her history and heritage and have an appreciation for the culture she has grown up in.
Therefore, as I've bought Third Party up she's spent a large amount of her summer holidays festivating and large amounts of the rest of the year in churchy type environments or being dragged off to do politics or culture - and on more than one occassion both. Now she's a teenager though I am realising that she's getting to that critical stage where she'll make her own decisions and mistakes and it's time to see how the values I've given her and discussions I have had / am having with her influence those decisions and mistakes.
Overall I'm feeling confident that whilst I've made a few mistakes along the way, am still making a few I've done it the best way I could. However, the area that scares me most is the whole church and God thing. I'm worried that she'll decide to buy into it big time and end up wearing the evangelical straightjacket that some of us then spend years trying to escape. At the moment I know that's not a danger, but the worry is still there because whilst I would never put her within a million miles of a drug dealer I actually encourage her to be in situations where she is exposed to the same types of teaching that I know are just as likely to have negative effects as they are positive if she buys into them in her teens.
So am I turning into my dad? Well, no not quite because whilst recognising the dangers I also recognise the huge positives to be gained from her getting a faith aswell. To be honest I fear her not getting any connection to God as much as I fear her swallowing the whole conservative evangelical thing.