Desire, Love and Nothingness

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 18 September 2008 10:30:48

The Independent site today has this interesting article by Jeanette Winterson about desire and love. In it she is essentially arguing in favour of love and commitment and highlighting the dangers of desire, whilst explaining whilst we still need the concept to some extent.

Looking at both concepts is interesting and for those who have chosen not to do relationships it is an important article. Sometimes, it is possible to take the "look at the menu even if you know you can't afford to eat" approach to life. However, as this article argues it is a dangerous approach because ultimately it will leave you unsatisfied and disappointed.

So what are we left with if desire is unhealthy and love (of a sexual type) is at best a highly unlikely option - nothingness? Do we get left with a part of ourselves which becomes numb, dead and threatening to us and so something which we should essentially try to cut out of our lives? Um, no that would be (i) unhealthy, (ii) dangerous and (iii) denying how our creator made us - yet it is what I think many of us who are single do. Ok, so what is the answer?

Well, firstly I would argue that there is a difference between a healthy imagination and overwhelming lust and desire. Desire and imagination are linked, and both are artificial situations in the mind. Yet keeping hold of the fact we are beings created with a creative imagination keeps us grounded. Desire gives us unreal expectations, yet creative imagination allows us to explore and enjoy in a way which both allows us to lose ourselves completely yet keep grounded in the (un)reality of the situation.

There are those who would argue that porn is healthy because it allows people to escape into fantasy. Yet, porn is unhealthy and dangerous because it encourages people into unrealistic desire, rather than creative imagination. As the article highlights unfulfilled desire leads to a negative, dangerous situation of unfulfillment. The article also shows how within religion the dangers of desire have been highlighted. Equally, though, I would say if one reads the bible there is throughout a creative imagination which goes beyond the sexual into a range of areas and helps us develop alternative relationships with people, based on the wider types of love not just romantic eros love. This is important because as Winterson concludes in the end "love" is everything".