Categories: ecclesiastical-stuff, parenting-general
Date: 01 June 2010 04:24:46
Watched Child of Our Time last night and realised why the research I'm doing actually matters. This 20 year longitudinal study of 25 children in the UK who were born in the year 2000 was doing personality testing and generally catching up with them at the age of 10. It emerged at this point that nearly half the parents had split up and that the a large number of the kids were becoming part of step families. This was said to reflect the national statistics. Being part of a "single parent family" is obviously a transitionary stage that they will go through on the way to entering step families and some will remain in.
I found it interesting watching the programme with Third Party and seeing her reactions to some of the stuff. First off she was shocked at the statistics and then when she saw a child whose parents had split up at roughly the same age as hers had crying as they discussed the emotions attached Third Party hardened. They then looked at the possible effects on the childs personality and I was told not to laugh too loudly as some aspects of Third Party's personality were pretty accurately described. Interestingly these aspects were ones which showed whilst she may take longer to find a relationship she is more likely to make it work.
I agree with those who say we should work to strengthen family life and make it work. However, at the same time the figures are such that we cannot and must not ignore the fact the typical family structure for many has changed. Reconciliation may not mean, as perhaps it has in the past, trying to get couples back together - because by the time the church comes into contact with them it may be far too late. Rather, the church may have to widen this and in our current society being called to be "peace makers" may actually mean trying to reconcile the different parts of families in order to make this new type of family structure work for our children. This could mean rather than just treating these things as a non-category acknowledging them more and so, where appropriate, people wanting a Christian marriage or bringing their children for baptism have the issues around the combination of parents/ grandparents (and relationships between them) discussed. This may help bring healing to the people concerned aswell as giving them a chance to discuss practical concerns this mixture of relationships may raise for them. This isn't something I've explored in the research, rather something that sparked off in my mind following seeing last nights programme.