Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 February 2010 19:29:27
So I went onto the Cosmo site looking to see if they had a link to the interview with Drew Barrymore in this months magazine. I was going to talk about Barrymore's wonderful quote about why she's not worried about ageing. "I'm happy and I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness. If somebody walks into the room looking drop-dead gorgeous and sexy, it's fun to look at that person, but I think people who make you laugh and feel good and give of their spirit have a much deeper level of beauty."
However, once I got to the Cosmo site I got distracted by the big issue about single mums. It linked to a report in the Daily Mail, suprise suprise, which claims that single parenthood is a lifestyle choice and single mothers choose to live on benefits. I haven't been able to find the exact research article by The Young Foundation to find out how it has or hasn't been manipulated by the Mail in this article. However, I have seen the Social Trends material which I think some of the data comes from, and it actually makes some interesting reading. In terms of numbers of single parents whilst there has been a slight rise in the last 20 years the majority of growth in single parenthood actually happened between 1981 and 1991 (from 6% to 10% of all households). In the last 20 years there has been 2% increase but this is actually relatively low. In terms of the "single" single parents these numbers include parents who may have been co-habiting but have never been married. The figures for "seperated" parents (aswell as obviously divorced) relate to people who have been married.
All of these types of articles rely on particular interpretation of the statistics, interpretation which is often politicially motivated. As we approach an election it is likely that this type of "New Right" influenced article is likely to increase and single parents are yet again likely to be scapegoated. I am raising a voice today to cry out that whilst the "lifestyle choice" argument may apply to a tiny minority of lone parents it is not the true picture. The majority of lone parents are doing their best to look after their kids and survive financially - often having part-time jobs. Additionally, this type of article has a negative effect on the self-perception of people who become lone parents. They have stereotype they don't want to fit into. This fighting against a myth can be draining and damaging at a time of vulnerability when they need support of a range of kinds.
As churches and Christians I believe, as I've said before and I will no doubt say again, that we should make clear to single parents that we see them as people, not stereotypes. Let us not fall into the trap of believing the Daily Mail's lies. God gave us a wonderful picture of and encouragement to share with single parents in the story of Hagar, (read it all the way through and see how she gets cast out - becoming a single mum because of Abraham and Sarah's sin- falls apart- but then is met by God, via the angel- and then ends up becoming a strong, self-sufficient single mum who provides for her son).