Categories: uncategorized
Date: 02 January 2008 08:24:58
At the beginning of another year I have to ask myself what has changed? I still weigh a stone or more than I should, I'm still the born again spinster, I still eat too much take away and micro-wave food and not enough vegtables, I still don't acknowledge or engage with God enough during the course of a day, I'm still a bit of a nightmare with money, I am still on the computer way too much, do far too little in the way of giving more than lip service to social justice and I still struggle with juggling work, Third Party and a life.
I also have to ask myself what do I want to change. Then when I say all of the above I have to stop and think if I want them to change, and have spent most of the last year wanting them to change why haven't they. I think the answer is threefold, (i) some of them I would like to change just because that's what you're meant to think / say isn't it, (ii) some of them I find too hard to change because of the sacrifices - change of lifestyle that would be involved and (iii) whilst they remained the same I was actually changing some other stuff, which may, just may, have been an ickle more important.
So will they change this year? Well, my weight might go down (my main concern is actually to ensure it doesn't increase anymore) and hopefully my eating habits might improve slightly. Part of that, though, depends upon getting the "life juggling" sorted. I eat kak which is microwaved or take away too much primarily because at the end of a long day (when I often still have some work to do at home) I'm shattered and just can't be bothered to stand, peel potatoes then go through the effort of mashing them 20 minutes later when I could just put a tub in the microwave. Rather I would sit, eat the food and then have a bit of time on the computer before I either collapse into bed in an exhausted heap or plough through a bit more work. The one downside is though I know the tub of potatoes costs me almost a pound more than the fresh ones would if I put in the effort.
At this point we may be seeing how, to a certain extent, lots of the things I want to change but don't in my life are inter-connected. So on the logic that if I change one it may be easier to change another I need to decide where to start. I also have to decide, though, if that is actually the list I want to start with.
Whilst at the beginning I gave the "ongoing" list of constants I may want to change that doesn't mean they are the right goals for me to be pursuing. This year I may want to concentrate on changing things like: my career, my place of residence, my lack of ability to speak a foreign language or my social group. Alternatively I might decide that actually what I need to do is to stop trying to change things and actually, as I did to a certain extent last year, learn to enjoy and value things the way they are.
So which will it be? Well in 2008 I am hoping to be doing a little of all of the above. As for the specifics, well those I'm not going to be sharing out loud at the moment. Life is an adventure which you do have to actively participate in and take action on if you want to achieve change, but it is also something beautifully fluid which can sometimes take you in directions you never expect when you start out on a particular journey of change. I know what the intentional actions I am taking at the moment are, but I am trusting in God to take those intentions in whatever direction he wants and so I am not sure what the end destination will be.
All I know is that one way or another, as with every other year, 2008 will be an journey of it's own and I invite you to join me on that adventure.