Categories: uncategorized
Date: 03 December 2009 09:27:20
Regular readers will know that I have been facing on going issues with Third Party. Getting her to school has been something we've been struggling with. Yesterday we had a breakthrough, I think. We got her to a stage where she was honest about what the main issue was and name a couple of people who were causing her some problems.
I am not going to go into too much detail for obvious reasons but I am going to outline a little of how we got this information, just to try and offer a bit of help others who might be in a similar situation who might stumble across this blog and illustrate just how great the pastoral care staff at Third Partys school are.
Third Party had decided to stop pretending to be ill, or making herself ill (probably a more accurate description of what's been happening). She had instead decided to tell me straight this week that she wasn't going in and I couldn't force her. Next stop educational welfare, (a warning, a fine and then potentially prison)....I made my regular phone call to the pastoral care worker who has been going above and beyond with Third Party. We had both run out of ideas pretty much, but realised that getting Third Party into school for a meeting was no longer a possibility. So the pastoral care team, very kindly, agreed to come out to see her at home.
Now, here we had an issue. You see Third Party has a bit of a habit of doing a brief runner if she thinks anybody is coming in to see her. So I had to think slightly more deviously than I have in the past. Just before the appointed time I found an excuse to close the curtains, (no danger then of her spotting the teachers out of the window), and I made sure a DVD was on to divert attention from my clock watching. Then just before they arrived I said I was going to check if the post was in the mail box, enabling me to meet them at the door and again stop Third Party having an opportunity to leg it.
Before she knew what she was happening Third Party had been ambushed and found herself with a semi-circle around her of 2 teachers and a mum. She was told clearly and calmly what the consequences of educational welfare would be for me, (and in a more comical moment that the penalties were given to the parent she was resident with, she couldn't nominate her father to take the consequences). After a bit of straight talking Third Party blurted out what the issue was and how we gotten ourselves here.
It has taken a painful journey to reach this point, and I don't know where the road will lead next. It's a journey that I find particularly lonely to be honest. It's a road where, to some extent, Third Party and I journey alone. We have the support of others, and I am so greatful for all the real and virtual hugs I get on this one. However, in dealing with the school and with each other it is v. evident that we are a one parent family. I may get angry when I feel I'm being patronised by well meaning friends and relatives about my "success" as a single parent, preferring just to be a parent with a different set of challenges, but I have to be honest being a mum is hard and sometimes being a single mum is very hard.