Categories: general-nonsense
Tags: General Nonsense
Date: 04 July 2009 07:44:39
Today is independence day.....the 12th anniversary, so grab a glass of something and join me in the "celebration". Oh and for any US visitors happy whatever you're celebrating today aswell.
Two years ago I posted this entry celebrating a decade of independence. The key parts of it were:
"I think marriage is a great institiution if it works (and as I’ve said before you get hitched for love rather than social / religious convention) but for me it falling apart was the best thing that has happened to me."
"The reconstruction process has taken me into a career I love, adventures to places I’m not sure I’d have ever been to otherwise (most memorably Iona and Cologne). It has seen me get into a “proper uni” at last (as well as journey through another couple of “new uni’s” picking up bits of paper along the way). It has seen me move to live by the sea; it has seen me develop a faith that I can live and breathe without feeling I have to apologise for. It has seen me smile and laugh (as well as shed the odd tear) as I have become more reconciled with my self and who I truly am and it has seen me become more comfortable (if not much more competant) as a mum.
None of this would have happened without the help and support of my friends and family and so as I raise a glass I say thank you."
That all remains and as, over the last year, a new chapter has opened I have a few further adventures to add to the list of things to celebrate including "the big move", and some newer friends to thank.
That is not to say it's all been smiles, but.......it has been an amazing journey.
Looking back there are some valuable lessons I've learnt and relearnt and then sometimes had to go back and learn yet again. So as you grab a handful of the virtual nibbles and a glass of the virtual wine I want to share a few:
1) "What might of been" is a painful way of thinking; "what might yet be" is a sometimes scary but really useful way of thinking; "what is and has been" can sometimes be painful but often contains much to be thankful for.
2) Singleness and marriage are of equal value. They have different challenges and different opportunities. Spending your time in one state wishing for the other is unhealthy, look for the opportunities within your situation now.
3) Life is more complicated than theory. Whilst principles are given for us to live by adventures come from living. In the bible the ideal is given seperately from the stories about peoples lives.....there is a reason; real life always tends to get messy.
4) Your story will be unique your experiences aren't. You are not the first or the last to be feeling what you are and others have actually had it worse.....learn from others, give to others as the opportunities come along.
5) Like Hugh Grant said in About A Boy, "no man is an island". However, independent you are and want to be we all need other people sometimes. It has to be a two way process though. We cannot become dependent upon others or so independent we think we don't need them.....rather we have to help each other as the opportunities and needs arise.
6) The ability to forgive is one of the most liberating gifts we have been given. It is in forgiving that freedom and healing can be most intense. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, but it does mean letting go.
7) God doesn't want us to go through s**t but he does tend the garden so we grow through the manure.
8) There will sometimes be people who sometimes say stuff which appears patronising, cruel and insensitive. They're generally not being nasty....they just have no conception of some realities which are far removed from their own...bear with them. However, if their stoopid comments drag you down try to steer clear and spend time with those who make more positive comments.
9) It's ok to scream at God sometimes, it's ok to cry in the presence of God sometimes, it's ok to tell God it hurts like hell sometimes....and sometimes it's ok to sit and say "I don't know where you are God". Just make sure during the better times you thank Him for the blessings and take time to laugh with him too.
10) Don't compare yourself with others. Focus on how far you have travelled on your own journey. Remember sometimes little things can be huge achievements.