Language changes and special days

Date: 04 March 2009 07:50:53

Been reading around this US site for single parents and found out that over there the 21st March is apparently Single Parents Day.

Have to say my immeadiate reaction was to cringe about single parents day. Over recent years I have become a convert to the idea of celebrating Mothering Sunday, although not Mothers Day, (after learning more about the history - BBC give a good summary). I thought this new day of celebration was the greeting card companies in the States trying to find an untapped market. Having read the explanation which includes the following:

"Single Parents' Day is an opportunity for the children of single parent families to recognize the sacrifices both of their parents make to provide for their needs, collaborate with one another, and maintain a stable home environment where the children can thrive. It is also an opportunity for single parents themselves to celebrate their efforts and achievements."

I'm still not sure about it. I like this quote. However, much of the rest of the language in the article is couched in is one of empowerment but the type that somehow emphasises that being a single parent is "harder" than being a parent in a two parent family. I am happy to acknowledge it is different and harder in some respects, but then it is also easier in other respects. Additionally, many of the core issues of single parenting are simply parenting issues which apply whatever your situation.

What I do like though are some of the ideas which are given to single parents as to how they might celebrate, although not sure how Third Party would react to mum going a bit soppy on her in a letter:

" Write a personal letter to each of your children, telling them how special they are and how much you enjoy being a part of their lives.

Send another single parent an E-card

Get together with other single parent families to celebrate your collective successes.

Start a journal. This is a great way to record the small triumphs you enjoy each day in raising your children."

Regular readers may, or maynot notice that I have changed my language and have converted over from using the term lone parents to using single parents. As I have become more aware of the debate involved in the use of each term and how they are used I have become pursuaded by the argument that single parents is a term to be positively claimed. That is not to say that I don't think two happily married parents isn't the ideal, it is to say that in our society single parent has become a term loaded term. I know that I spent a decade or so being clear that I was a lone parent, not a single mum because of the associations the term has, both with class and the route into single parenthood. I acknowledge what I was doing through my choice of language was actually buying into all the junk surrounding the underclass theory, put forward by Murray and others. I do happen to be single and a mum. Those two things are fact, whatever my other socio-economic profile might be. Also through fiddling about with search terms I have realised most people actually use "single parent" rather than "lone parent".