Mission and Perception

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 19 January 2009 10:14:39

Why is it all of the Christian books that mention single parents, even the ones being positive, seem to see us victims of some sort? (Note here: I have to be careful in this post because may be the topic of some proper academic type writing in the future and I don't want to look like I am undermining the importance of married couples either - but I have to let it out somewhere!!!!)

Being a single parent does have challenges and sometimes those challenges are differents to those faced by married couples......... but married parents have challenges too!

From bitter experience I know that buying into the idea of being some kind of "victim" when you become a single mum can be destructive. The picture of single parenthood put forward in these texts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Personally, a really important part of my healing process, after my falling apart period, came from realising that I wasn't a victim, a survivor or an overcomer - I was simply a human being dealing with something called life. Life has good bits and bad bits, it has some stuff to be worked through and it has a complex set of problems which are different for everybody.

I think getting a grip on this rather than wanting to treat single parents and others like good targets for "Christian Social Work" might be a huge step forward in getting a grip on mission. There are huge numbers of people of married people who are doing the juggling kids, work, tight budgets, etc, etc - it isn't specifically a single parent thing. Equally not all single parents are lonely and depressed. Just as with every other sector of society some are.

If the church is really to get serious about mission the literature needs to stop looking for "victims" to help or "brave overcomers" to praise. It needs to start simply seeing people as people, whatever their life experiences. If we can get a grip on society just being full of people who will all have up times and down times in their lives and need the church to be there to laugh when they laugh and cry when they cry we might just might move forward.

Rant over I will return to the book which is making me tear my hair out.