Categories: research, spiritual-journey
Date: 16 November 2008 12:10:32
There appears to be quite alot written about the effect of being an "insider" or "outsider" on fieldwork, and similarly the effect of "having faith" or "not having faith", on the final product, if you are researching religious experience. It's a facinating subject and one which I have had to start to seriously think about in relation to what I'm doing. What is exercising my mind though, is the effect on your "corporate worship" / "praise" experience when you are a researcher, with faith, going in to conduct field work.
To put in context last week and this I have been out doing some field work, attending one of the local churches I want to gain access to do research in. I've gone in, openly, as somebody who is there primarily doing fieldwork. Yet, it's also been my visit to formal church that week and as such I have engaged with the praise times, etc as a worshipper, all be it a slightly wary one as I have been going to a church which puts me outside my comfort zone.
Thus, the dilemma for me is not how to conduct myself as a researcher engaged in participant observation, that I can to some extent read books to learn, although as with any researcher I'm going to make mistakes. The issue I'm dealing with is how to deal with the idea of "here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that your my God but actually God here I am to do research". Now, I know that being the sort of person who views the whole of life as an act of worship one way or another my research is worship in it's own way, but being there to look at what's happening does change the dynamic of what you're doing. At what point does trying to identify and observe what's going on get in the way of authentically worshipping and if one is faced with the dilemma of getting to the point where you lose yourself in a spiritual experience or possibly getting some really good research data by noting everything else going on around you how does that work? I guess it'll come down to the fact the Holy Spirit knows the situation and so will be sensitive to the research, in terms of if and when I get bought to that place where I am not really aware of the going ons around me.
Anyway, so far it's all been good and to be honest much to my surprise I've found it quite liberating. Being there with a purpose other than just praise and worship has enabled me to be a bit more objective about some of the stuff I have had issues with in the past. It's also enabled me to move into just "acting the part" and so participate in what I'm observing at times when previously I would have felt unable to participate, or more specifically sing some lines I find somewhat unsound, and so have would have just excluded myself from what was going on.
Together with some of the reading I'm doing it's also allowed me to recognise some of the positives in the charismatic movement and re-engage with experiencing the more charismatic workings of The Spirit in my own worship alittle more. Now, at this point I don't want people to worry, (or put out the flags - depending on your view), I'm not going native. What I am doing is re-evaluating my prejudices and seeing more of what is good and, even in my own experience, has been positive from these types of groups. However, I am also holding on to what hasn't been so good in my own and others experiences aswell.
The upshot of all this will remain to be seen, and is going to be a process. Whatever, it is all showing me that by the end of the research my faith is definately not going to be in the same place as it was in the beginning. So just as we have to think about the impact of having faith on research and recognise the issues that gives us it's important to think about the impact of research on faith.
If anybody knows of any readings or anything I might explore regarding this issue of the impact of field work / research on the researchers spiritual life I'd be greatful if you could leave a comment.