Categories: uncategorized
Date: 19 September 2005 09:35:48
I'm one of those people who, most of the time, enjoy being a born again single (note born again is definately not being used in a religious way here). Over the last few years it's meant that I have a relative amount freedom I can go wherever I want, when I want, (as long as the venue is relatively child friendly and cheap or I can get a babysitter and some cash sorted). To be quite honest I think I'm now far too selfish to be able to cope with a relationship and what having to take somebody else into the equation would mean. Also I doubt I would have had been able to have a summer like this one where I was off most weekends if I'd had to take somebody else into account.
However, sometimes, just sometimes something creeps in to your mind (or more accurately you see / hear things which get you thinking) and you begin to wonder. It's then that you wonder are you a "born again spinster" by choice or by the fact there is something wrong with you and so your singleness equates to a huge rejection and does it mean you are majorly missing out on life? Rationally I know the answer to these things is it's just one of those things, partly choice but mainly it's just how life's worked out.
Also there comes a time when you realise what the single life means in practice and that you're in there for the long haul. This is not necessarily a depressing thing and in many ways can be a realisation that you can plan for an exciting future with a full life doing what you want to. Yet sometimes you still wonder, but you know that the wondering cannot turn into wishing for what you do not have, because that is a downward spiral.
So I think after I've done wondering, I better get back to the more fruitful practice of dreaming and planning for an exciting single future. Apologies all, if todays offering has been a bit depressing, I think I've just been having a bit of a Bridget moment.