Categories: uncategorized
Date: 30 January 2006 06:46:54
This snapshot is somewhat blurred, much of the detail obscured and it has been taken from a distance. The distance gives a detatched view which enables us to continue our struggle to understand some of the challenges which have faced young women,in the past and to try and pin point what role some version of feminism may have now, as we recognise some of the issues may still apply. The picture has to be read as just one image in the series.
We have now entered the early 90's and our subject is in a strange situation of dispair and hope, feeling a total loss of control but struggling desperately to gain some.
On a positive note evening classes have been discovered and A Level study has been resumed. One has been gained and another two are being studied for. In the mist of the alien life of office job and wife the original "non-gendered plan" is being rediscovered. Meaning does not come through qualifications, but so often in our world fitting in with those who have similar social characteristics does. We think we choose to spend time with those "like us", but the systems already discussed mean we are socialised into certain roles and expectations of ourselves and those around us. What we choose, I would argue, is the safety of reinforcement of those norms and values.
At the same time I was searching for control of my personal life. I had discovered, with somewhat of a jolt, that I was not "non-gendered" but I was woman and was fulfilling a "female" role in society, yet it was a role I was unprepared for. The effect was not pretty as I struggled to find out who I was and how to handle this situation. In my frustration and confusion I sought to control and punish the one person who could be held accountable - myself. So it was I pressed the self-destruct buttons labelled eating disorder and self-harm.
At this point I was v.lucky to have a bunch of supportive people around me who ensured that I did not go too far down that road without seeking help. At this point, though, another patriarchal institution enters, with a set of assumptions which are worrying and somewhat damaging - the medical profession.
Ok, I accept they are there to help and I know that they only have the methodology and information that text books give, but it seemed to me then and in retrospect now, they ask the wrong questions. They uncritically take on board Freud and so seem to find difficulty in accepting that most of our problems do not come from childhood, rather the uncomfortable realities of reaching adulthood and struggling to take on board all that involves.
In my experience both conditions had to do with control, (which the text books seem to acknowledge), but it was taking control of a life which appeared to be spinning out of control, rather than anything deeper. If womens experiences are to be taken seriously I believe that the medical profession needs to start examining the reality of the surface more, rather than trying to go deeper.