Categories: uncategorized
Date: 03 November 2005 13:35:53
I have been reading the Deeleea blog for the last few months and my heart goes out to her. Having been single for 40 years, prior to my recent marriage, I understand how people's emotions can be stamped on without thought by others.
I have therefore decided to fill a perceived gap in the market. I thought about setting up a store on EBay but found that it didn't meet any of their product criteria. So here it is.....
(Sound of drums in background)
Ladies & gentlemen, we are pleased to announce the world's first Ethical Assasination Bureau!!!!!!
We undertake to obtain revenge on those thoughtless people, me excepted, who have trampled over your emotions, caused you heartache or been generally unpleasent to you.
Our services are targeted to your specific requirements and a sample is given below:
1. Mild skin inflammation;
2. A blister on the foot;
3. A brain tumour from Monday to Wednesday every week;
4. A very sore throat;
5. Lameness during week days or at weekends;
6. Individual natural disasters;
7. Perceived Acts of God.
Of course, we could increase the pain and suffering but would not take a life or inflict harm to household pets. That wouldn't be ethical.
All services are performed by our specially chosen prayer team of bitter, twisted and resentful women. All services are, of course, undertaken in a spirit of Christian love and forgiveness. Should the "target" repent of their wrongness then we would, naturally, desist in our work.
The Ethical Assasination Bureau would retain the right to choose the infliction appropriate to the "crime" committed. No refunds are provided. Prices are subject to change due to prevailing conditions.
People interested should contact us at the usual address:
3rd Dustbin on the Right
Behind McDonalds
Your Local High Street