Categories: uncategorized
Date: 07 November 2005 14:35:31
1. Join the Foreign Legion - assuming you are a MAN!
2. Suddenly receive a calling too mission. Preferably somewhere remote where mothers and children wouldn't want to go.
3. Buy a set of Bose headphones that cut out all background noise.
4. Become deaf.
5. Enrol friends on a 24 hour rotating babysitting service. Make sure that you get them to do the night shifts and dirty diaper duties. Supposedly all women love kids and are only too happy to exercise their mothering instincts.
6. 5 maybe a total lie so prepare a back-up plan.
7. Begin taking an interest in sport. Preferably ones that have large, predominantly male only followings - rugby, football, topless darts, fishing etc
8. Become an astronaut and enrol on the International Space Station or Mission To Mars projects.
9. Walk down to Swansea Bay and fake your own suicide, as per Reggie Perrin & John Stonehouse.
10. Look into private education. Boarding schools do have their uses.
Alternatively, you can ignore all of the above. Just buy some cotton wool and get on with it.