Categories: uncategorized
Date: 17 November 2005 13:06:13
Today has seen me begin another of my windmill bashing exercises.
Sport Hater arrived home last night looking a little more shaken and wobbly than usual. Living with me does this to people, in my view. However this time wasn't caused by yours truly being insensitive.
While on a visitor to a client she was visciosly assaulted by the wheel of a Stagecoach bus. Immediately I leap to the assumption that this is a coninuation of Stagecoach's personal vendetta against me. Now they're going after my First Wife!!
Just because I tell people that they are an evil empire run by megalomanicial Scots intent or taking over every bus/train franchise in the UK and destroying public transport. If you don't believe me see what they are doing to bus companies around the country and rail franchises they run into the ground.
Anyway it appears that this may be an unrelated incident. Maybe they didn't know about my recent capitualtion to matrimonial servitude! So I put away the sawn-off shotgun, grenades and spray cans.
The First Wife was parked outside a tenants house, not realising she was on a busy bus route. A knock came on the door and a Stagecoach driver asked her to move her car so she could get past - none too nicely from the First Wife's account.
In the process of moving forwards the bus reversed and destroyed her rear brake light with the front wheel. Understandably the First Wife was a little shaken up by this event. After all a car is a little smaller than a bus. The police were called and all parties were told, in usual police terms, to sort things out between themselves.
As such I'm thinking of challenging the local Stagecoach manager to a duel or some other such means of recompense. However, the First Wife will probably talk me out of that.
Now onto Jack "I'm a Useless Twonk" Straw.
As this is the year of eradicating poverty I have been busy writing letters and e-mails to various politicians in an attempt to actually get them to do something positive and not just to mouth empty promises. Having received Market Porcupines Hermertically's latest e-mail I've just sent off another request that he delivers and presses other nations to do the same.
Politics is one of my many enjoyments in life. There's something about upsetting people with my Facist dominated views that always gets the Liberal Unintelligensia in that soft fluffy place. Little do they know that I have hijacked most populist campaigns to further my own goal of World Domination by the Welsh.
So now is the time to begin our pre-G8 campaign. If you need the link so you can help pressurise the feeble one then post a comment and I'll happily send it on.
Remember we are here to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to have enough money to stay alive and prosper. Then they too will be able to enjoy the benefits that we have - Tesco's, Costa Coffee, Microsoft and a media owned by News Corp. How they'll thank us for that......