You Can't Use That Word

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 15 August 2006 14:56:19

Another word has entered the list of those that are now banned from use. You are not to use the word Google as a verb. To do so will incur the wrath of Google. At this stage that seems to involve legal letters rather than thunderbolts and plagues. They aren't that powerful after all then!

So I can no longer write that I have been googleing for certain subjects. Neither can I go off for a quick Google or Google on down to the latest beats, man!

In view of this I have decided that people are no longer allowed to use the following terms:

1. Hoover, apart from the specific brand usage
2. Read - 'cos I do that
3. Soccer - 'cos it ain't a proper word. Its FOOTBALL and was used before you started your crummy game
4. Baseball World Series - ok its the name of a newspaper and not the "world" but it applies
5. Hilary & Bill Clinton - because I don't like them
6. Profits
7. Search "Engine" - 'cos it don't run on rails and is not powered by fuel
8. Color - It has a U in it
9. President Bush - must be replaced by stupid evil pillock
10. Microsoft - should be called trash manufacturers
11. Spam - can only be used to describe the tinned ham product
12. Gay - only in the form to be happy
13. Ipod - should be replaced by "over priced and technically inferior

Anyone using the above will be hunted down by my army of trained cats (see Best Man they can be trained HA!HA!HA!HA!HA) and armadillos. In addition they will be forced to read the collected works of Dan Brown, Salman Rushdie and Barbara Cartland.