Scottish Victory

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 12 September 2008 18:49:33

Chas,

I looked up the Battle of Pots&pans following your comments. Many don't realise the importance of this conflict on British History. It finally brought an end to the open warfare between that horrid Englishman Makro Perrier Bland and the hero of modern Scotland Gordion Ramsass.

Makro was renowned for being a right meddling, manipulative genius around the campfire and Gordion was the apprentice made good. They were in competition for the restaurant with the most Bridgestone Twinkles and were always trying to outpoint the other.

Then came the great clash when Makro was trying to manipulate the failure of Gordion's first Zoucchini and take it over for himself but brave Gordion marched around Makro's flank and mounted a surprise attack by utilising a Wooden Canape and a bunch of Fennell.

Using the mass artillery of his Regiment of Saucepans and cries of "He can't ******* take away our ******* free*******dom, the *******!" He rallied his ******* troops who replied with cries of "**** the ******* Sasquatch *******!!" Fought him off.

Gordion went on to get many Bridgestone Twinkles and Makro lost several of his. Gordion also went onto have a career in TV on both sides of the Atlantic and Makro was given Gordion's cast off series.

No wonder Chas finds it so exciting.

History Today:

1440: That great bastion of British educational is founded by Henry VI. Altogether now: "Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles!"

1609: Henry Hudson sails into New York harbour and thyen 150 miles inland to Albany. The waterway is now named after him.

1683: The armies of John III of Poland and Charles of Lorraine raise the siege of Vienna. This ends the Ottoman expansion into Europe. The highwater mark of Islamic expansion was pushed back. Mind you it would take until

1878: An ancient Egyptian obelisk is presented to Britain and erected (oooh, errr, missus) on the Thames Embankment. We know it better as Cleopatra's Needle. Any woman who uses a 68 foot tall, stone knitting needle should be admired.

1919 for the Ottomans Empire to completely fall.

1919: The British government says that the newly declared Irish parliament is illegal and bans the IRA and Sinn Fein. Fat lot of good that did!!

1935: Howard Hughes achieves the first of several aviation records. He flies a plane, of his own design, at 352.46 mph.

1969: President Tricky Dicky orders the resumption of the bombing campaign against North Vietnam. Rolling Thunder returns. Let's bomb them back to the Stone Age!!

1970: Concorde makes its first landing at Heathrow. There are a barrage of complaints regarding the noise level. Some people just can't accept progress.

1974: Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selaissie is deposed. The great hope of the Rastarfarian race is finished.

1977: Stephen Biko, leader of South Africa's Black Conciousness movement, dies shackled to the filthy floor of a police hospital. Earlier in the month he was almost beaten to death by Afrikaner police in Port Elizabeth for alledged subversion. Later he was immortalised in a Peter Gabrile song and a Richard Attenborough film.

2001: President George Bush announces a 'war on terror' following the 9/11 terror attacks. It wouldn't be long before he threw away all the goodwill that other nations had felt following the events.