Achoooo!!!!!

Date: 23 July 2009 18:18:16

I am pleased to say that I do not have Swine Flu. It is just a temperature and a mild cold.

However our government's attempt at setting up a Swine Flu Website has, as you would expect, collapsed in a coughing and spluttering heap on the World Wide Floor. It seems that it was getting 2600 hits per second.

Yet the amazing thing is that it offers a self diagnosis of the condition and you win a prize - answers all the questions correctly and, even if you lied and don't have Swine Flu, you will be eligible to collect Tamiflu from the local quarantined facility (i.e. a doctor's window).

The phoneline that they have also set up is staffed by non-medical people. This is ok says the Secretary of State because you don't need to be a health profesional to diagnose someone; therefore it is just as effective as ringing a "chat" line but not as rewarding.

I really can't wait for this bunch of numpties to be ousted in an election. Personally I'd make them meet every flu victim and die to save the rest of us. Mind you I doubt if any replacement would be anymore effective but they couldn't be any worse.

In other news today is the 500th Anniversary of the end of my batchelorhood - well it sometimes feels that long!!!!

Thanks to FW for putting up with me - now where's my tea??????