Categories: uncategorized
Date: 05 November 2006 11:15:28
It's not every day that you get to eat a meal with some elderly Greek folks before learning Scottish country dancing. Well, not if you're me it isn't anyway.
I was at a wedding yesterday; I'd been invited to the service and the evening do a while back, but then on Thursday I got a late invite to the meal as well. So, after a lovely service, I found myself sitting on a table with the bride's grandparents, aunts and uncles. I'd been assured that they would speak English, and although it seemed the grandparents didn't (the only words I managed to exchange with grandad were "hello" and "cheers!"), all the aunts and uncles at least had a go at making conversation. Although mostly they asked me questions about the business and industry in the city I live in, which I knew absolutely nothing about. So when they got bored of me, they would start calling across to their kids on the next table in their mother tongue. Whatever they were talking about, it was all Greek to me.
One particular uncle was clearly the "character" of the family. He spent a long time asking me where "Sallop" was, and after a bit of translation from one of the other uncles, we came to the conclusion he probably meant "Shropshire". He then proceeded to ask our waitress when her birthday was, before adding, "Good, now can we have some more bread rolls please?" Occasionally he'd ask me, "So, Stiff, you are enjoying yourself?", to which the honest answer would have been, "Sort of". However, my main enjoyment was the piece of paper my friends D & S had brought me over, which I had initially assumed was just a replacement name card so I didn't have to pretend I was "Martha" all night. Upon unfolding the paper, however, I discovered it was a free drink voucher redeemable from D & S, to make up for being stuck with a bunch of strangers talking about stuff I didn't understand. Truly, I have some lovely, wonderful friends.
Then to the evening bit. For those of you familiar with Peter Kay's routine on wedding DJs, you'll understand if I say we had one of those DJs who talks and jokes over all the records. He also made a comment about Scotsmen in kilts, which was somewhat ill-advised given the number of Scotsmen in kilts from the groom's family in attendance. Anyway, there was the traditional wedding dancefloor fare until after the buffet, then for 20 minutes or so it was Scottish country dancing time. A nice girl (who sadly appeared to be one half of a nice couple) came and grabbed me by the hand and whisked me onto the dancefloor, where I quickly got the hang of whatever we were doing. Then we did one of those big strip the willow-type dances, which was fun but extremely tiring - when it came to my turn to go down the line dancing with each lady in turn, there must have been about 30 of them. I got to the other end thinking I was going to collapse. I managed to grab a quick breather after that, before another lady grabbed me for a dance quite similar to the first one. At least that was comparatively sedate, and didn't involve being flung violently around the room.
Then back to the usual wedding cheese, with one piece of traditional Greek dancing music thrown in. There were quickly several lines of people, arms round shoulders, legs kicking everywhere. Somehow the best man and I ended up in our own line, doing an odd double-time version of what eveyone else was doing, which probably looked more like Irish dancing if truth be told. I can't speak for him, but I was sober, so there really is no explanation for it.
Today I am aching and tired, but I can honestly say I really enjoyed the whole day. And if you ever get the chance to have a meal with the bride's comedy Greek uncle, do it. It's an experience you'll never forget.