Categories: uncategorized
Date: 31 January 2007 18:55:37
So, last night, I went to a football match for the first time in over ten years, and if I've done the maths correctly, only the third time in my life. The match itself was pretty dull - Birmingham City against Southend, with the visitors pulling off a surprise 3-1 victory, but the actual playing was fairly uninspired. However, it was the oddities of the evening that really entertained me.
Firstly, there was the sponsorships of seemingly every announcement over the PA. When Birmingham took their early and short-lived lead a few minutes into the game, the announcer informed us (incorrectly, as it turned out to be an own goal, but never mind), "Goalscorer for Birmingham City, number 10 - Cameron Jerome!!! (...sponsored by Floors 2 Go)". I was quite surprised that young Cameron had an individual sponsorship deal, and especially that it was with a fairly unimpressive flooring chain. But when Southend started scoring, I discovered that Floors 2 Go seemingly sponsored every goalscorer. What's more, FlyBe (a little cheapo airline) sponsored the announcements of substitutions, and somebody was even sponsoring the added time at the end of each half. Towards the end of the first half, when the announcer read out the registration numbers of two cars which needed moving, I almost expected him to finish with, "please move these vehicles immediately, thank you. (...sponsored by West Midlands Police)".
Quite aside from wondering whether these sponsorship deals actually work in terms of getting more sales - do people really go to Floors 2 Go just because they heard them mentioned every time a goal was scored at the Blues? - I couldn't help wondering if the sponsors have to pay extra for each goal, substitution or minute of added time, or if they just had a flat rate agreed. Yes, I actually was wondering that. That's how dull the match was.
But the true highlight of the night, for sheer outstanding awfulness, had to be the half time "entertainment". Our announcer wandered out to the centre circle to read out birthday congratulations to Blues fans who were in attendance, and present prizes to various competition winners who excitedly walked onto the pitch waving to the frankly uninterested crowd. And then, the moment that we clearly hadn't been waiting for... It would appear that all Birmingham's home games feature a contest at half time called 'On Me Shed, Son' (see what they did there?). This involves a roofless shed (sponsored, naturally, by a local home furnishings/DIY type place) being brought onto the pitch, and two punters attempting to score points by kicking five balls at the shed - one point if you hit it, three if you get the ball inside through the missing roof. At the end of the season, the overall winner gets a fitted kitchen, provided by the sponsors (but wouldn't it make more sense for the prize to be a shed?!?).
So the announcer attempted to hype the crowd up - "Let's have a big round of applause for the shed!!", he cried, as four men carried it onto the pitch via sedan chair-style handles on the side. The crowd reacted with a fairly unimpressed chorus of booing. This shed clearly wasn't popular around these parts; maybe it ad once played for Aston Villa. Our two plucky contenders amassed modest but respectable scores, and then the shed was taken off the pitch again, as the announcer once again requested "a nice round of applause for the shed" and instead got roundly booed. I couldn't help thinking that this must be something of a running joke by now; I'm assuming this competition must have been running since at least the start of this season, so regulars have probably been booing it for nearly six months now. Sadly, I was too far away to see if our announcer was smirking at the less than favourable reaction to this gimmick, or if he was fed up of presiding over the most unpopular event in town.
All in all, then, a fun evening out. Even if the football itself was the least interesting bit of it.
This blog entry was sponsored by Squeezy Cheesy Peas - the Cheesy Peas you can squeeze.