The day from Hell

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 04 August 2005 00:53:22

Woke up early this morning from a weird dream. When I went to sleep last night, I'd been expecting to dream about big red buses driving in to me. The dream I actually had was about the test my pupil was taking today in the car I had arranged to borrow.

First of all, the car wasn't a Nissan Micra as I'd been told, but a 7 seater people carrier. I don't know what make of car it was, because dreams tend not to be that specific. Not only was it big, but it was also an automatic, which totally confused the pupil. Ah yes, the pupil. The pupil wasn't the person taking the test (in real life), but somebody who has only had two lessons and is still trying to master the art of steering in a straight line (in real life, and also in the dream).

Well, I woke up, so there's one problem solved. Great to start the day with a solved problem because after that, everything went downhill.

My first task of the day was to phone the insurance company. This had a dual purpose. The first was to get a claim form from them (obviously) and the second was for them to arrange a replacement car for me. No car = no work = no pay. "No problem at all, we'll get a car to you this afternoon".

Half an hour later, the insurance company rang me back to give me the details of the third party company that deal with replacement cars. I phoned the third party who took all my details. It turned out that this company uses yet another third party company who actually rent out the replacement cars. (Are you paying attention? I may be setting a test later!). The first third party company (if that makes sense) assured me that the second third party company (yes, I know) would phone me within the hour to arrange delivery of the replacement car and that they would endeavour to get me the same make and model as the one devoured by the bus.

In the meantime, I was waiting for M to call with his car.

M, it turns out, is a semi-retired part-time instructor who does a bit of work on the side here and there. When he turned up, I discovered that his car is a somewhat beaten up F reg Nissan Micra with the really old fashioned dual controls that were de-rigeur when I learned to drive about 150 years ago. Oh well, at least it's safe and road legal. Of course, it was built before the days when power steering was standard. Now don't get me on to power steering! Personally, I think power steering in small cars is a complete waste of time, but when somebody has been learning to drive in a car with it and on the day of the test finds it doesn't have it is a bit too much. That's why I gave O a longer lesson that I would do normally before a test, just to get her used to the car.

O was one of my first pupils. She had taken a test unsuccessfully last year and wanted another go. When she booked her lessons back in June, she said she had a test booked for 3rd August. (i.e. today). Whenever I asked to see her appointment letter, she never had it with her, but assured me that the date and time were definitely correct.

Well, O managed the pre-test lesson really well, particularly as she was in a strange car, and we arrived at the test centre and I was confident she would pass. At the given time, the examiners emerged from their little secret room and started calling names out one by one. O's name wasn't called. The Chief Examiner (who was about to take somebody on test) saw her waiting so asked to see her appointment letter. "Your test is on the 4th of August. That's tomorrow," he said. "You should have shown this letter to your instructor before you came". He said this looking in my direction with a "Paddington Bear" type hard stare. Have you ever wanted the ground to open up and swallow you?

I explained to O that I wouldn't be able to take her as I'd already got somebody else booked for a test at the same time. The drive back was very silent.

Are you still awake and have you been paying attention? You remember the second third party company who were going to call me back "within the hour" to arrange delivery of a replacement car? Well, by now it was 2 o clock, 4 and a half hours since I'd spoken to the first third party (or something) company, so I thought I'd better get back to them.

The first third party told me that the second third party (this is really confusing isn't it) wouldn't be able to deliver the car until tomorrow. I said that this was not acceptable, as I needed the car for a test. The first third party then gave me the phone number of the second third party. (I think I'm beginning to understand now). I phoned them up and explained the situation. They were very apologetic and explained that they simply didn't have any drivers available today and that it would have to be tomorrow. "What time?" I asked. They couldn't promise a time, only that it would be either AM or PM (well, Duh!). The only way I could guarantee having a car on time would be for me to travel to St Albans and pick the car up myself, so I did.

So, not only have I lost a days pay, I've also had to shell out train and taxi fares. I now (temporarily) have an A class Mercedes. Not a nice car to drive. The steering is heavy and the acceleration on the motorway is non existent. I made it back to South London in time to take the lesson for tomorrows test candidate. Although I don't like driving the car, it's great from an instructing point of view. It's high up off the ground, so I get a good view of what's happening on the road ahead and it has loads of legroom. I just don't like driving it.

A lorry driver down the pub tonight reckons I should be able to claim for loss of earnings from the insurance company. He could be right and I think I'll follow that one up.