Categories: uncategorized
Date: 11 December 2007 12:52:46
Word Count : 851 (out of 15 000)
Mood : Dull Panic
Music : A playlist entitled "Songs to play at checkpoints" that I created in Palestine. Currently "It is not Holy" by Martin John Nicholls.
Energy Levels : 4/10
Rant: I guess it's all stuff I need to get used too, but I'm finding it almost impossible to work at the moment. I just don't have the concentration. Whilst doing random stuff (lying in bed, eating breakfast) I had fantastically relevant thoughts about how I should write this first chapter, and I just wnated to get on with it. After about 40 mins of research I'm exhausted, jittery, my eyes are achey and I've lost the little energy I have. I don't know if this is normal or not, I don't really know anything...I don't know how much of this is just normal procrastination and how much is PVFS. I do know that my tolerance to television is significantly lower than it was. If I'm exhausted I just lie in a dark, silent room. Yesterday I did it for 4 hours. I was aware of things that were happening, Helen coming up stairs, a male voice downstairs, people going to the toilet, Rich asking me if I wanted food...Stuff like that so I don't think I slept - in fact I know I didn't because I slept well last night. It's just frustrating, and very, very demoralising. I got really, really upset a couple of weeks ago because I couldn't go to Boyes to get some wool. All I wanted was to knit a doctor who scarf with 'fuck-off thick wool', but I couldn't get up to town. Yesterdays crash was triggered by me going to ASDA by bus. I did a minimal of walking, and only spent abot 2 hours out, but combining it with Church was enough to knock me out.
I'm now going to try and go swimming...I'm not sure how it'll work..but I'm gonna walk to uni, pick up some stuff, and then go get lunch, then swim.