Categories: uncategorized
Date: 25 November 2003 21:58:31
Travelled to Durham today to meet the tombs which was lovely and spent most of the day missing my dad which was hell. The hell of missing dad wasn't helped by several facts. One was that I was with a family, which is normally fine and dandy and wonderful but was a bit upseting tonight, two was that the reading at evensong was the revelations one, he will wipe away every tear from their eyes and three was the fact i found a poem i wrote in my note book.
I realised something else today too. It's about college and failing last year. It's "easy" now to say in a half joking way "i screwed up last year" or "i failed a year" or somthing like that....but inside it hurts like hell. Everyso often i realise what i did last year, what happened and see how stupid i am and how i've let everyone down. Im at that time now.
And the two things are connected. Two people who believed in me are with god. and i miss both of them like hell, but i feel like i have let them down.
I'm sure i will be more cheerful tommorrow. but tonight is now and it stinks.
I may post my poem and a couple of other bits up when i'm in my bedroom (instead of the studio)