Categories: uncategorized
Date: 02 September 2004 22:22:37
1. Eloi Eloi Lema Sabacthani.
Ikons first service was centered around the Tenebre Service. The service on Holy Saturday where the church is gradually plunged into darkness and people leave in silence, and scatter. It is one of my favorite services. At the ikon service i found the darkness almost overwhelming and there was a real greif within me. People read poems - about death, and birth and life. I spent most of the service sitting hunched up under the lighting rig in tears.
At this point I have a confession to make. When I was clearing up on Monday night, I found a folded up bit of paper, and being ever curious, I opened it, and read it. It was notes for the ikon service. No one seemed to want them, and ikon had left the building (i did see them later in the pub though...) so i put them in my bag (along with a great parody of GB, called Blackbelt.
There are reasons why i'm so interesting in this, and it's not just personal. i have a great interest in the ideas of the death of God - the patripassic heresy, moultman and bruber's suffering god, nitchze dead God, and the God who on the cross cried out "Why have you abandoned me?"
The God i have come to know, the God I have raged to, the one I have sworn at, and worshiped, isn't a cushy God - it's someone who suffers and dies. not just once on the cross for all, but every day. and for everyone. and there are times when I look at the cross and ask if im really worth it. then the silence it's self is all the answer i need.
afterwards i was tearful and shaky. but the service was sacred, and the effect of it was, in the end, good.