Categories: uncategorized
Date: 05 September 2004 00:17:46
I tried to put this in a poem, but have so far failed. So it's just a mush of half remembered thoughts...
I mentioned the sadness in my joy in my first post on this wiblog, and I feel it still...here are some thoughts on it
Dad's birthday is in september, 22nd I think, but I'm not sure. I'll be in Uni. A completly new chapter of my life, and i don't have a dad to share it with. And I want a dad. More than anything. It's like during my year 11 prom all I could think of was the fact that dad wasn't there, he wasn't there to drive me to school like everyone elses dads were doing, he wasn't there to see me dressed up in all my finery, he wasn't there to see me get my GCSE results. He never saw me when I opened them and read them out...he wasn't there when i got in to Uni, or when I got my A levels, or when we moved to York. He never saw me pass my assistant teachers swimming qualification, or join scouts.
I was 14 when he died, my sisters were 10 and 8. You shouldn't come home to find out you're dad is dead at 14 - or 10, or 8...And whats worse, sometimes I think it's only me who remembers...perhaps that's a bad thing, perhaps it's healing. I don't know. What I do know is simple. I want my dad.
Sorry that this is depressing, Part of the Ikon service was about a funeral, and that, and family stuff, and uni has triggered this off (i think)