Categories: uncategorized
Date: 28 August 2005 21:37:02
As I'm now sat in NewForms One, venue managing, and using the wifi hotspot that is in a very convinent place in the venue, I figured I'd best start blogging about greenbelt, and stop going on and on and about my Dalek. Although the Dalek does feature in Greenbelt...
The whole weekend was marred a bit by the fact that my grandad - my biological father's dad - died a few days before the festival started. The funeral is on Tuesday morning, which means I have to get to liverpool straight from Greenbelt, and have had to buy funeral clothes from chelternham as my greenbelt clothes are hardly appropriate. Especially as the five grandchildren are travelling in the car.
Truth is, I'm dreading the funeral. I don't want to go, I don't want to go! And I feel like having a three-year-old temper tantrum and saying how it's not fair...but so far I've refrained from either shouting at someone, or bursting into tears. Apart from snapping at graham every time he did something even vauglly annoying.
Aside from the whole funeral thing, it's the fact that I'm going to have to be someone I'm not. I'm not one of the five grandchildren, I'm not a member of that family - I'm not really fully a member of any family, but my birth family confuse me and in a way they scare me. I don't know them, I can't be me for them, I dont know how they'd react to anything I say, they don't know the evil glint in my eye that I my friends know if I'm plotting something, they just in general don't know ME!
This greenbelt has been odd - I've been so much more confident than I was last year - in the words of one of the people setting up the venue, last year I wouldn't say boo to a goose, this year I'm bossy. I did offer to go all quiet and shy again, but my offer was denied. I think I enjoy me more confident...it's kinda nice to be able to stick up for myself, and also to not be intimidated by 'big scary people'. Even though I do still feel a bit unhappy about the church of fools, I realised that I do owe it a lot - especailly confidence wise. It's made quite a difference.
But now I'm supposed to be thinking about the kingdom of heaven...so I'm best to go. I may update later, as having internet access during a church service is great fun!
Oh, and the Dalek is at the moment guarding the venue. It's been getting quite a good press.
And one last thing - I saw my name in print for the first time today :S