Categories: uncategorized
Date: 06 May 2004 08:36:44
At least now I have a plan.. of sorts.
The doctor has signed me off for another three weeks, in addition to this one. I don't know how they'll take the news at work - relief probably! He's recommended talking to occupational health who will, apparently, advise and negotiate with the school on my behalf based on what I'm actually in a position to do. Sounds like a good idea to me. So, three more weeks of rest and relaxation - how will I cope? ;)
I've decided now that the "get fit" routine really must begin. No more chocolate mid-morning (and mid afternoon!), no more sitting around playing Insaniquarium on the computer (have you tried that one yet?), no more long lie-ins. I need to do some exercise - and I mean more than the five-finger exercises I've been doing so far! So M and I are off to test out whether her arthritis will benefit from a bit of aquafit this afternoon.
Talking of which, did I mention I have a piano? And a lovely piano it is too. It's amazing how the music - albeit with wrong notes and struggles to decipher the score and hit the right keys - just draws you in and makes you oblivious to all else. Even Tiddles has felt the magic and has abandoned his keyboard in favour of doing his music practice on the piano because "it sounds so much nicer". And Smudgelet has asked me to put labels on the keys so that he can learn too. Now I am torn between encouraging my son musically and not wanting to deface my beautiful piano with little blutacked letter labels.
Last night I experienced again the most humbling and uplifting sensation of motherhood - the fact that my very presence can vanquish the fears and distresses of my children, can stop pains from hurting so much, can take away the need for crying. It's such a priviledge to have someone love and trust you that much. I just stood by the bedside, touching fingertips, and that was enough to soothe away the hurt and longing of a boy who thought he'd seen a glimpse of a close relative in the restaurant a couple of days ago. I can't change their past or the wrongness of them growing up as part of a family which isn't their own by birth, but how wonderful to be able to ease that just by loving them so much, just like the fingertip touch from God comforts and restores and encourages me.